


Gravel and Rose Petals

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Homestuck, Real Person Fiction, Tumblr - Fandom, Vocaloid
Genre: Crack, Crack Pairing, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-19 11:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weebcomments, a girl who messed with the wrong people at the wrong time, finds herself lost in the middle of nowhere in California, USA. Attacked by a gang, she flees onto a long abandoned road in a stolen car until she finds herself at the home of a man named Andrew Hussie, who takes her in to help her. Now both of them are caught in a situation that can cost them their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gangs and Old Ugly Cars

**Author's Note:**

> Weebcomments at Tumblr is the protagonist, if anyone is wondering.

Weebcomments wasn’t sure where she was going, but she had to go somewhere. The only sounds she could hear where those of her racing footsteps and the ones close behind her. Weebcomments had made a mistake. She made some bad choices with a group who were nothing but bad news, and now they were coming for her. They wanted to kill her. 

“Help!” Weebcomments shouted, tears welling up at her eyes and blurring her vision. “Someone help me!”

“Nobody can help you now,” cackled the gang member chasing her as he closed in on her. “You’re dead meat, sweetheart.”

Weebcomments looked to her right at the empty street beside her as she ran. Her hope was diminishing as it was clear that there was nobody around to save her. She sniffled and brought up a hand to brush away tears stinging at her eyes. The roads were abandoned and there wasn’t a building in sight.

“See, sweetie? You might as well give up now! There’s no way you can survive.”

Weebcomments wasn’t sure why the voice of the man chasing her sounded so familiar. She hadn’t been able to see the faces of any of the gang member’s faces, but she felt that she knew this man. There was no way she was turning around, however. That would slow her down, it would be suicide. Was there any way for her to get away? She was running down a road in the middle of nowhere. She was surrounded by desert. Stupid California.

Weebcomments could feel herself starting to slow down. She was tired and her legs hurt. She wouldn’t be running for much longer now and the person chasing her would kill her. She had to think of something and fast. She began to cut into the desert with a burst of speed. She wasn’t sure where she was going, but she had to get away. She had to. She knew she wasn’t thinking clearly, but she had to do something.

“Whoa!” Weebcomments heard a thud and knew that her chaser had slipped and fallen. She raced ahead, whispering a thanks to nobody as she ran. Soon, something came into view. It was an abandoned car. Weebcomments bolted to the vehicle and peered inside. The windows were smashed and glass littered the hot black leather seats, but it was better than death. Weebcomments unlocked the door from the broken window and pulled the door open. She scrambled inside and began to hotwire it.

“Stop!” screamed the man chasing her, but Weebcomments was already driving away. The wheels kicked clouds of tossed up sand as it moved, veering onto the abandoned road. She leaned her head back into the burning hot leather seat and shut her eyes for a brief moment and a sigh escaped her lips. Relief flooded through her body and she loosed her grip on the steering wheel.

“Thank Len,” Weebcomments sighed. “That could have ended badly.” She pulled down the mirror and looked into her reflection. Her blond hair was dirty and messy and she had multiple scratches and bruises on her profile, but it wasn’t anything too serious. She flipped the mirror back up and focused on the road. 

For what felt like hours, Weebcomments traveled down that lonely road, one that felt like the only road she’d ever known. Weebcomments couldn’t remember much anymore. All she knew was that she was attacked by a group of people she didn’t know and now she was driving a stolen car. It was a beat up blue truck missing a license plate and the rearview mirror was broken. 

Weebcomments continued down the road for hours until she came to a single house on the right side of the road. “What the…” Weebcomments muttered under her breath. “Who builds a house in the middle of nowhere all alone?” Whatever, a house was a house, she figured, and stopped by the side of the road and hopped out of the car. She shut the door and locked it by instinct, brushing away bits of shattered glass from her bum. 

The house was very big, almost creepily big. If it had been nighttime, Weebcomments might have hesitated to approach its big black doors and ring the doorbell. Things were always more intimidating at night, especially big houses in the middle of nowhere.

The doorbell rang through the house loudly enough for Weebcomments to hear from the outside. She rocked back and forth on her heels, thankful that she hand tough tennis shoes on or else all that running and whatnot would have been rather difficult and harsh on her feet.

The doors suddenly swung open and in the doorway stood a man. For some reason he was wearing sunglasses even though he was indoors(what an asshole). He had brunette hair and he looked like he was wearing lipstick for some reason.

“Uhh…” Weebcomments said, struggling to find words. This guy was really intimidating with his unnecessary shades and manly stubble.

“Who are you?” The man asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

Weebcomments cleared her throat. “I-I’m Weebcomments, mister…”

“Is that a Miku cosplay?” He pointed a finger to Weebcomment’s torn and tattered outfit. 

“Ah, so you know the genius and beauty that is Hatsune Miku…!” Weebcomments said, a small smile tugging on her lips. 

“You looked like you’ve been sleeping in the middle of the road,” he continued. 

Weebcomments felt an angry blush on her face. “Yeah? Well… well at least I’m not some douche bag wearing shades indoors and lipstick!”

The man scowled. “I’m not wearing lipstick you rag doll bitch, this is just how my lips look!”

Weebcomments bit back a retort. She had to play her cards right, she realized, or else this guy wouldn’t help her. “Sorry…” She muttered. “I…I’m just a little moody I guess, mister. I was being chased by a gang who want to kill me.”

“Shit, I better not get involved,” the man said before retreating into his home and beginning to shut the door. 

She could feel herself going into tsundere mode but she controlled her anger as she jammed a foot between the door and the wall to stop it from closing. “Wait, please. Help me! I’ll do anything!”

The man sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “… Alright, kid, whatever. Come in.” He flung the door back open and turned around to leave, nearly hitting her in the face with it. She followed him inside and shut and locked the door behind her.

“Thank you, S-sir…” Weebcomments murmured. “How can I repay you?”

He responded with a shrug. “I don’t know yet, I’ll figure it out. But for now, Let’s get you into some less shitty clothes.” He led her into the living room, which was ridiculously large. He stood beside a black sofa and looked to the right, where there was a staircase.

Weebcomments nodded with a smile. She was grateful of this man. He didn’t know who she was, and yet there he was, helping her from those gang members. “Thank you.”

“MS PAINT!” the man yelled. A chubby woman came down from the stairs with a friendly smile and she was clad in a very colorful dress. It was designed in horozontal stripes, firs light blue, then bright green, then yellow with light pink verticle stripes. She wore a pink hat ingulfing all of her hair and leaving nothing but her pale face showing. 

“Yes?” She asked, nodding towards Weebcomments as a greeting and turning her attention to the man.

“Go get this girl some real clothes,” he said.

“Yes.” MS Paint scurried back up the steps and disappeared from sight.

“Oh,” Weebcomments said, blinking and looking up at the man. “I never got your name.”

“I’m Andrew,” The man said. “Andrew Hussie.”


	2. Hussie and the Weeb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hussie isn't sure how long Weebcomments is staying with him, but it can't be too bad. About time he had a real girl around the house.

Weebcomments couldn’t hold off the grin that broke out across her face when she heard the man’s name. “Hussy?” She parroted, her voice raising in pitch due to her stifled laughter. “Like, a who-“

“No,” Hussie hissed, the exasperation and annoyance clear in his tone. It was as if he was faced with that question often. “Hussie, not hussy. With an I.E.”

“Oh…” Weebcomment’s face went hot with shame. “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to insult you.” Her gaze lowered to the floor and she scuffed the ground with a filthy tennis shoe.

“Yeah, whatever.” Hussie turned and left the room, retreating to the kitchen. “So if you don’t mind my asking, what’s with the cosplay?”

Weebcomments’ face lit up in an instant and she was on his heels before he could blink. “Hatsune Miku is a genius! Her vocals are perfect and she is so kawaii and sugoi, I wish I could be just like her!”

Hussie came to an abrupt halt and, dramatically slowly, he turned to face her with his ridiculously red lips drawn down into a scowl. “Are you a weeb?”

The girl’s face twisted into a scowl. Her face flushed with anger and her eyes flashed a dangerous glint. With her hands balled up into fists tight at her sides, she growled, “Don’t you dare call me a weeb. I am NOT a weeb!” She began to shake violently. “I hate weebs. I hate them so much, I hope they all die in a fire and then forever feel pain in the flames of Hell!”

Hussie was caught off guard by Weebcomments’ sudden change in personality. It was like she was a completely different person. He furrowed his eyebrows together and gave her one long, confused nod. “Uh-huh…. Right.”

And just like that, Weebcomments was her usual cheerful, ditzy self again. “I prefer to be called an Otaku, anyway, hee hee!” She winked at him and threw up two fingers. “Desu.”

Hussie grimaced, but he quickly wiped the disgusted look off of his face. He was used to dealing with weebs. He hadn’t mentioned it yet, but he worked on a popular webcomic and its fanbase was festering with weebs. “Right.” He was relieved to see that she hadn’t noticed the horrified look on his face and went back to the kitchen.

Weebcomments followed him like a lost puppy. She wasn’t sure what else to do. She was in an odd house, a big one at that, with a strange man and a colorful pale lady upstairs making her clothes. She was lost and confused and the scratched all over her body stung.

As if he’d read her mind, Hussie suddenly asked another question. “Are you hurt, Weebcomments?”

Weebcomments blinked and hesitated on her answer. She didn’t really want to cause much trouble for this guy, but she ended up piping up, “Yes,” anyway. “I don’t think I’m bleeding, I mean. I’m just a little banged up, is all.”

Hussie responded with a “hmm,” and went about to opening the fridge.

Weebcomments scanned the kitchen with curious eyes. It was actually really huge for a kitchen. The counters seemed to be made out of jade and the cabinets and whatnot were all snow white, as if untouched by any dirt. The fridge opened and inside was a large variety of foods and drinks, more than weebcomments had seen in a long time. Was this guy some kind of millionaire?

“You hungry?” inquired Hussie. He reached into the fridge and pulled out a cup of water. Weebcomments wasn’t sure why he had a cup of water sitting in the fridge, but she didn’t bring it up.

“No, not really,” she replied.

“Your loss.” Hussie shrugged and closed the fridge. “MS. PAINT, WHERE’S THOSE CLOTHES?” His voice raised into a shout as he called the woman, the cup of water pressed against his lips. “I’M GETTING TIRED OF LOOKING AT THIS COSPLAY!”

Weebcomments scowled at Hussie. Rude, much? She was standing right in front of him. She huffed and left the kitchen and moved into Hussie’s living room and plopped down on the sofa with her arms tightly crossed over her chest. She’d worked hard on that cosplay.

Hussie didn’t seem to notice that he’s offended his guest and continued to rummage through his kitchen.

“Oh, what was your name again, miss?” The gentle voice of MS Paint entered the room much sooner than the woman did. She spoke from the staircase, smiling softly. She stepped down into the living room and stood in front of Weebcomments with a clean white T-shirt and a pair of jeans folded over her arms.

“Weebcomments,” Weebcomments said with a friendly grin. That MS Paint lady seemed rather nice. She probably didn’t deserve all that yelling Hussie did. Weebcomments reached out and took the clothes from her hands, murmuring a thank you, which was responded with a nod.

“You should go take a shower now.”

Weebcomments agreed with a nod and rose to her feet. “Can you show me to the bathroom?”

* * *

Hussie peered out of the window next to his front door with narrowed eyes and a hand pressed up against the cool glass. He knew that letting Weebcomments into his home put him in danger, but he couldn’t let a girl run off down a street that went on for who knows how long alone to be hunted down and probably killed by a gang. Sure, he’d tried to shut the door on her when she’d first popped up, but it wasn’t like he was actually going to just let her go. Probably.

Besides, Hussie needed friends. He was practically all by himself in that huge mansion in the middle of nowhere in the hot, dry desert running a webcomic for a bunch of weeby assholes. Sure, he has MS Paint, but what fun was she? All she did was anything he asked. It got boring after a while, if he was honest. He needed someone who would actually act like a friend with him, maybe dick around and be an asshole with him. It was all he dreamed about.

And then popped up that girl in a shitty Vocaloid cosplay. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t exactly what he dreamed his friend to be like, but she would have to do. It wasn’t like he had any other options. It wouldn’t be bad to have a girl around the house anyway. He needed someone of the opposite gender around sometimes.

“Andrew?”

Hussie turned and his eyes fell on MS Paint, standing behind him with her head cocked to the side ever-so-gently and a cup of tea in her pale little hands. “I made some tea for you.” She smiled at him and scuffed a foot against the carpet.

“Thanks. Put it on the table over there.” Hussie waved her off dismissively and turned back to pressing his face against the window. Where was he? Oh yeah.

He needed a girl around. It was only healthy. It wasn’t like he was romantically interested in her, though. He already had a crush on someone. A pretty girl, one with long, black hair and long legs and beautiful white teeth and a set of candy corn colored horns poking out of her head… She was perfect for him. Too bad she was fictional. Her name was Vriska, and he made her up for his webcomic.

Having a crush on a fictional character was not at all creepy and never will be. It is perfectly healthy and Hussie knew it. It was also very healthy to have a body pillow of said character in your room where she wore nothing but lingerie on one side and on the other, her jeans were teasingly low and her top lifted up just far enough to see her underboob…

Yeah, okay, maybe it was just a little creepy, but did Hussie give a shit? Hell no. He just hoped that Weebcomments didn’t find his Vriska stuff or else he was screwed. He huffed and squinted his eyes as he stared through the glass. There was nothing suspicious going on out there. Not that he really would have noticed if there had been, considering he’d been zoning out thinking about his nonexistent sex life. It was a good thing he didn’t have anybody living across the street, because they would probably think he was some creepy guy staring at them for God knows how long. All there was across that quiet street was desert and cacti. Some dry bushes here and there, dead patches of grass and maybe a jackrabbit speeding across the ground and kicking up a cloud of sand.

No mobsters anywhere. That was a good sign, Hussie decided. He would rather not have any gang members sniffing out that chick’s trail so soon.

The man turned away from his window finally and traveled up the stairs and into his room. It was a very large room full of merchandise from different things, along with about fifty magic eight balls sitting on a shelf in a row, joined by some fake spider webs and anything he could relate with the number eight… which was a lot of shit. Also, there was a Vriska plush that he had MS Paint make sitting amongst the cluttered mess of eight-related objects. It was rather cute.

Hussie had a huge bed. Mostly because he slept like a bull at a rodeo thrashing about trying to get its rider off, but it was way too huge nonetheless. Kind of lonely. Good thing he had that Vriska body pillow sitting on top of it. Like the shelf of Vriska stuff he had against his wall, his bed was also somewhat Vriska related. It was her blood color(so was the carpet, though) and the blanket he had on it was spider-themed.

Hussie took a seat on his bed and pulled the body pillow into his arms. “Sorry, Vriska, but I’m afraid you can’t sleep with me tonight. Ssshhh, I know, I know. But we have a guest today, and we can’t let her know how much of a pathetic fuck I am. No, no, of course I don’t love her. I could never love anyone more than you, Vriska.” He planted a kiss on her forehead. “There’s no one on this Earth who I could love more than my little spider bitch.”

Hussie stared longlingly at his pillow before removing his glasses and setting them beside him. He locked eyes with those of Vriska and his breath hitched in his throat. She had such a powerful stare.

A knock on Hussie’s door snapped him out of his creepy fanboy trance and he juped to his feet quickly and sprinted over to his closet. “Who is it?”

“Er, Weebcomments.”

“Shiiiit,” Hussie hissed under his breath. “Hold on.” He threw open his closet and gave Vriska one last kiss before tossing her deep into his closet and yanking out a red sheet and blanket. Hurriedly, he swiped the sheets and covers off of his bed and balled them up. He tossed them into the closet with Vriska and messily tossed the red sheet and blanket onto his humongous bed and then moved on to his Vriska shelf.

Oh, how Andrew Hussie feared the day that this would happen to his Vriska collection. He quickly took off the Vriska plush and the magic eight balls and piled them into this arms before stumbling back into his closet and forking them over to the blanket. Next came the webs, and then he slammed his closet door shut and wiped the sweat off of his brow. Whew, that was close. He began to innocently strut over to his door and his hand closed over the knob when he remembered about the posters.

“Fuuuck.”

Weebcomments stared at Hussie’s closed door in confusion. She could hear a lot of noise from behind it and some hushed cursing. Some crashing here and there, and a loud thump against the wall where a “oh GOD, FUUUUCK!” followed. She blushed. Was she interrupting something? She scurried away from the door, her red face cupped by her own hands. “Oh, Kami, I’m sorry, Mr. Hussie! I didn’t mean to interrupt-“

As soon as Weebcomments got the sentence out, Hussie swung the door open, panting and his hair extremely messy. Beads of sweat trickled down his face. He had a few scratches on his face and his shirt was very wrinkled, much more than it was when he’d answered the door. “ _What?_ ”

Weebcomment’s blush deepened and she covered it with her hands as best as she could. “Ohmygod, I am SO sorry! I didn’t know!” She backed up quickly, eyes screwed shut, she backtracked across the hallway, heading for the opposite wall.

Hussie raised an eyebrow at her. “The fuck are you… watch out!”

Weebcomments tripped and stumbled backwards, her eyes flying open and her arms swinging out in a fruitless attempt to catch her fall. Before her head hit wall and her back hit the ground, Hussie leaped forward and caught her.

“Jesus fuck, woman, watch where you’re going, would you?”

Weebcomments looked up at him, her face still flushing more than ever. “S-Sorry.” She hated to admit it, but the messy state he was in… it was kinda… hot. She could feel her heart race increase in speed. “This….” She whispered. “This is just like in my animes…” She could practically hear the generic anime bell jingle number 01 in her ears as she spoke.

“What?” Hussie looked at her with a perplexed expression.

“Nothing…”

“Why’s your face so red?”

“I…I’m embarrassed you stupid baka!” Weebcomments barked angrily. “I didn’t know you were fucking in there, ok? I just… I didn’t mean to…”

“What the hell are you blabbing about?” Hussie cocked a brow and hefted her up to her feet, rising to his own.

“You mean you weren’t making hentais in there?” Weebcomment’s voice was squeaky.

“No.”

“Then… what where you doing?”

“I wasn’t doing anything, you weird piece of shit.” Hussie hadn’t meant to be so harsh, but when he lied and got defensive quickly, it was what he tended to do.

Weebcomments glared at him and then peered around him into his room. “Can I go in, then?”

“Like I give a shit,” Hussie snorted.

Weebcomments ventured into Hussie’s bedroom and took a good look around. “Oh. I guess you weren’t lying, then.”

“No shit.”

“You’re kind of a bitch.”

Hussie rolled his eyes dramatically. “What the fuck ever.”

Weebcomments suppressed the grin threatening to break her angry façade. She wasn’t trying to be Tsundere, it was just her nature. But she knew that she and Hussie were going to be pretty good friends


	3. YAOI!!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weebcomments discovered that taking advantage of what people do for you results in consequences. Next time, she'll hesitate when she takes other people's things...

            The house was a lot more fun with someone else around. Hussie found that to be a fact. He was relieved that he had extra bedrooms or else Weebcomments would have been staying with MS Paint in her room or something. His house was really meant for a very big family. He had, like, ten bedrooms in that place, all in the same hall. Five doors on the right and five on the left, and then the hall lead to different places in the house including another staircase. Another _two_ staircases.

            “This is your room.” Hussie opened the door to the third room down the hall on the right side, revealing that it was already furnished to the colors blue and black.

            “Hey, this isn’t half bad…” Weebcomments ventured into the room and took a quick look around. “Did you buy all this stuff for this room? Don’t you live alone with your cleaning lady?”

            “MS Paint isn’t my cleaning lady,” Hussie corrected. “And yes, I did buy all of this stuff. A long time ago, I had a roommate.”

            Weebcomments found that to be interesting. “A roommate? Who?”

            Hussie waved her off, deeming the question’s answer unimportant. “Do you have a phone?”

            Weebcomments had to think about that for a second. She couldn’t remember much of what happened in her life before she found herself trying to escape a gang of hazy faces, only what she liked and didn’t. She patted her pockets only to find that they were empty and shook her head at Hussie. “No.”

            “I’ll go get you one, then.” Hussie exited the room.

            Boy, that guy must have been rolling in cash. Weebcomments could only wonder what job he had to land him in a place this nice. Maybe he was a really great doctor? What if he was some top-secret government agent? Did agents get a lot of money? Weebcomments didn’t know. She shrugged it off and took a seat onto her bed. The room was large, but not nearly as large as Hussie’s.

            Hussie was back before Weebcomments could continue to look around the room with an iPhone in his hands. “Head’s up.”

            Weebcomments caught the phone, which had been sailing through the air in her direction. “An iPhone? Jeez, are you sure?” She felt bad for taking it from him. Those things were expensive.

            “Yeah, I’ve got like seven more in my room.” He shrugged. “They’re pretty cheap.”

            Weebcomments’ jaw dropped to the floor. Did this man _bathe_ in cash? “Are you kidding me? Just how rich are you?”

            Hussie shrugged. “A lot richer than you.”

            “No shit.” Weebcomments looked down at her new phone with a smile. She’d never had an iPhone before. Or, at least she was pretty sure. “Thanks, Mr. Hussie.”

            Hussie wasn’t sure how he felt about that “Mr. Hussie” thing. It was kind of weird, but at the same time, kind of cool. Not even MS Paint called him that, and she worked for him. But still, Weebcomments was the closest person he had for a friend around, and he was pretty sure that friends didn’t call each other “Mr.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Stop calling me Mr. Hussie, would you?”

            Weebcomments blushed a little at his anime-like movements. “Wh-What?”

            “Just call me Andrew.”

            Weebcomments’ blush deepened. So they were on a first name basis, were they? “Okay, Andrew.” She gave a coy smile.

            Hussie didn’t return the friendly expression. Something was bothering him. Who in the world was it chasing that girl around? He didn’t even know there were any gangs near the area. He was the only house around for miles. There was nothing surrounding him but desert and one long, lonely road. He pursed his lips together. How long had she driven to get to his house?

            Weebcomments noticed the bothered look on Hussie’s face and worriedly frowned at him. “Andrew?”

            “Do you have any clue on who was chasing you before you got here?”

            Weebcomments only shook her head. “If I did, I would have told you. If I remember any details, I’ll go straight to you no matter what!”

            Hussie chuckled at the determination in her voice. “Yeah, good.”

* * *

            Weebcomments forgot how fun the internet was. It had only been an hour and she didn’t think she would be able to survive a day without it. Happily, she browsed her new favorite website, DeviantART. She looked up Miku joyously and giggled as she favorite every piece of art she laid eyes on.

            And then she saw it.

            Yaoi.

            Her eyes bugged out of her head and a huge grin spread on her face and she began to cackle. Yaoi. How could she forget yaoi? Yaoi was everything to her! She loved yaoi so much. Before she knew it, she was saving hundreds of yaoi pictures on her laptop. She set the background to a picture of two guys from Vampire Knight kissing(she’d never watched it, but the picture was perfect). “Yaoi is so hot,” she rasped. She only moved up from there. As she laid on her bed, kicking her feet, she watched yaoi groups, made a Len RP account on Facebook, and downloaded countless explicit yaoi anime episodes onto the laptop’s hard drive. She read fanfiction for hours and began to doodle some yaoi of her own on MS Paint. Not the cleaning lady, of course, but the program.

            “Are you on my laptop?” Hussie stood in her doorway, his arms folded against himself and a disapproving frown deep on his profile. “That’s my best laptop.”

            “Uh…” Weebcomments quickly closed it. “Sorry.” Okay, so maybe it wasn’t really _her_ laptop, but she figured Hussie wouldn’t care if she just borrowed it. He _was_ rich, after all. She was glad she found a rich guy’s house while running from the gang.

            “Give it back.” He put out a hand.

            Weebcomments stiffened. Give it back? That would be painfully awkward. She didn’t want him to know that she’d saved at least three hundred explicit yaoi pictures onto his laptop, let alone the hundreds of yaoi fanfictions she’d read that were bookmarked and the yaoi episodes she’d saved. “Ummm…. No.”

            Hussie scowled at her and moved to grab it himself, but she pulled it closer to her.

            “No,” She said.

            Hussie moved to grab it again.

            She pulled it closer to herself to the point where Hussie had to crawl onto the bed to reach it and then he lunged forward. In one swift movement, Weebcomments swung the laptop up and slipped it into her shirt. “No.”

            Hussie fumed. “Bitch, give me the laptop.”

            “I can’t!” Weebcomments felt bad. She really did, but there was no way in hell she was going to give it up. It was not an option.

            Hussie sighed. “Don’t make me reach in there,”

            A blush crept onto Weebcomments’ face. “You wouldn’t dare.”

            Hussie’s face was unchanging. “Try me.”

            Yeah, right. As if he would actually stick his hand down her shirt! Weebcomments scoffed. “Please! Like you’d even! Don’t make me laugh! HA, HA, HAEEEEUUU!”

            While Weebcomments was in the middle of her mocking fake laughter, Hussie reared up on his knees and shoved his hand right down her shirt and grabbed his Mac book. His eyes were locked with hers, and his expression remained neutral the entire time.

            Weebcomments screamed and her face went extremely red. Quick as a flash, she grabbed his arm from the outside of her top and sputtered out a jumbled sentence that sounded more like gibberish than anything as she tried to find her words.

            Hussie kept his composure and not even a single hue of red tinted his face which was surprising for someone like him. He attempted to pull his hand up and bring the laptop out of her shirt with it, but Weebcomments had an iron grip around his wrist and was holding it in place. He doubted she even realized what she was doing.

            Weebcomments let go of his hand and before she could spit out her sentence, he slipped the Mac Book and his arm out of her shirt and placed it next to him. “Thanks.”

            “Weebcomments flung herself face first into her pillow to hide her burning red face. “You’re a dick!”

            It was only after she’d hidden her face that Hussie let the grin he’d been holding off show. God, was it fun to mess with people. He hopped off of the bed, Mac Book in hand, and then casually walked out of the room as if nothing had happened.

            MS Paint nearly ran into him as he was leaving her room and was staring at him with panic in her eye. “What happened, Andrew?!”

            Hussie shrugged. “Nothing much.”


	4. I'm Sorry I Shoved My Hand Down Your Shirt, but at Least I Didn't Grab Your Boob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hussie isn't THAT terrible of a person.

            As soon as Hussie was behind the closed door of his own room, he was nearly red as a tomato. What was he thinking, doing that? He brought up both ands to cover his face. It was a mystery how he held off that blush. He didn’t even know that was possible. There was no way he would be able to do that again. That was no way to treat a friend. He stumbled over to his bed and flopped down onto his stomach.

            A knock at the door caused him to jump. “Who’s there?”

            “MS Paint.”

            Hussie sighed in relief. At least it wasn’t Weebcomments. “Come in.”

            MS Paint looked absolutely pissed. Her face was red in embarrassment and anger and her hands were balled into fists at her side. “Andrew.”

            Hussie swallowed dryly. “MS Paint…?”

            “Andrew, what were you _thinking_? Were you _even_ thinking? I don’t think you were! I understand that you are used to friendships where you mess around and joke around a lot, but you have to remember that your housemate is no longer a male, but a delicate female! You cannot treat them exactly the same way. Sure, you may have wrestled around with Ryan and done things like what you did to Weebcomments, but you can’t do them in the same way, because she is not the same person. I know that you aren’t used to having friends, Andrew, but that doesn’t excuse your actions.”

            Hussie just kept his mouth shut and let MS Paint call him out. She was right, after all.

            “You need to apologize to Weebcomments. Do you hear me? Apologize, Andrew!”

            Hussie nodded slowly. “Okay…” Almost childishly, he rose to his feet and slunk out of the room, walking up and across the hall to Weebcomments’ shut door. He brought up a balled up hand and rapped it against the door quietly.

            It was followed by silence. He knocked again, but a little louder.

            “Come in…” Weebcomments said. “Unless you’re Andrew, then you stay out!”

            Hussie hesitated for a moment, but closed his hand around the doorknob and swung it open anyway.      

            Weebcomments was sitting on her bed when Hussie walked in. Upon laying eyes on him, she shrieked in anger and grabbed the nearest pillow to chuck at his head.

            Hussie ducked under the pillow and continued to walk towards her.

            Weebcomments angrily grabbed another pillow and threw it at him again. “I told you to stay out!”

            Hussie was nailed right in the face by the pillow, but it didn’t slow him down much. He was sitting on the edge of her bed and staring at the floor for a moment before Weebcomments could throw another pillow. He turned to look at her with apologetic eyes. “So, er… I’m s-“ Hussie was cut off by another pillow to the face. He slapped it away. “Would you cut that out?”

            “No.” Weebcomments’ eyes were burning with fury. “Would you leave?”

            “I’m trying to apologize to you,” Hussie spat. “And I can’t if you’re shoving pillows down my throat.” He silenced himself for a moment, waiting for a reply from Weebcomments. She stayed silent, however, so he continued. “So, I’m sorry, Weebcomments. For reaching down your shirt. I was just trying to get my laptop, ‘ts not like I cupped a feel or anything.”

            Weebcomments face reddened just a tiny bit. “Whatever, you’re forgiven. But… you might not want to look in your Mac Book.”

            Hussie looked a bit confused. “Why?”

            Weebcomments shut up quickly, she only shook her head.

            Hussie shrugged. “I don’t really care about Apple products, anyway. I only have them to shut my fans up.”

            “Shut your fans up?” Weebcomments repeated. “Fans?”

            “Oh, right, I forgot you don’t know what Homestuck is. I run a webcomic, and it’s pretty popular. How do you think I got this sweet mansion? I only live in the middle of nowhere to hide from my millions of rabid fans,” Hussie explained casually.     

            Weebcomments was actually shocked. He got this rich off of a webcomic? She had to admit she was impressed. “Not bad.”

            Hussie nodded. “Yep.” He rose to his feet. “You can keep the Mac Book if you want it. It’s on my bed in my room.” With that, he left her room and went down the hall to a staircase that led to the third floor.

            Weebcomments went into Hussie’s room and took a short look around. His room really was ridiculously huge. She didn’t want to snoop around, though, so she went directly to his bed and picked up the Mac Book. “Lucky break.”

\------

            MS Paint shut the door to her bedroom quietly and moved down the stairs. Her steps where silent as she moved. She couldn’t afford to be too loud− she didn’t want to wake up Hussie or Weebcomments. They deserved some rest. Upon entering the living room, MS Paint shot a glance to the clock hanging up on the wall. It was about 2 a.m. She had woken up from a peaceful slumber to the sound of screeching tires, a sound she hadn’t heard in a long time. She couldn’t remember the last time a car actually drove down the road beside her home.

            She had to be cautious. Whatever made that sound couldn’t have been good. She swallowed dryly, carefully stepping towards the window next to the door and pulling at the blinds with a pale finger.

            It was dark outside. Very dark. With no streetlights to illuminate the night, she couldn’t see a thing out there. A worried sigh pushed out of her lungs. Maybe she’d been imagining things? She released the blinds and turned her back on the door. Getting back to sleep sounded like the most reasonable thing for her to do at the time.

            A knock on the door made MS Paint jump. She spun around, eyes wide and body shaking. Who could have come to a halt in front of their door so early in the morning? Perhaps she would have been a little angry if her body wasn’t so focused on fear. Was it possible that the people who had been chasing Weebcomments around had finally come to collect?

            The knock sounded again, this time louder and somehow seeming less patient. The person at the door was practically banging their fist against it. If they continued, they would wake up Hussie, and MS Paint didn’t really want to bother him. But, perhaps he could stop the gang members from getting inside or hurting them? She took a weary step backwards and the banging on the door came again. It was all she needed to turn tail and flee up the stairs.

            In her panic, she nearly tripped as she ran. She caught herself on the banister and pushed herself forward before she could come to a full stop. Before she even knew it, she was banging both fists against Hussie’s door. It swung open after the third or fourth knock, a disgruntled and messy looking Hussie standing in the doorway with a groan and a rub of his eyes. “What?”

            “I think the gang members who were after Weebcomments are here.”

            Hussie blinked. Uh oh. This wasn’t going to end well. “Get back to your room, I’ll handle this. And whatever you do, don’t let Weebcomments out.” He shooed her away and then retreated to his closet. Just his luck. He had been indulged in a fantastic dream about the love of his life, Vriska, when he was snapped into reality by a pounding at his door. Couldn’t those guys have  come at some other time? He groaned and filtered through all the stuff he had carelessly thrown into his closet. He should probably clean it out someday.

            Something cold and hard brushed against his fingertips and a quiet “ah-ha,” ushered from his lips. He closed his hand over the gun and pulled it out. Like he was going to face a gang unarmed! Making sure to completely conceal his weapon somewhere in his pajamas, he slunk out of his room and down the stairs. At that point, the banging against his door was endless. For a brief moment, he hesitated. He really didn’t want to face a gang. Couldn’t he just have a nice, quiet life without a gang or a big green demon charging through his house to murder him? Then again, Lord English wasn’t real. But that’s not the point. The point is, Hussie would rather not have to fight a bunch of big, tough guys probably dressed in black tuxes or leather or something, snapping their fingers in unison as they stepped into his house(that _is_ how gangs work, isn’t it?). He reached for the doorknob and took an iron grip. The whole door was shaking now and threatening to break in from the force of the knocking. Hussie inhaled deeply and swung the door open.


	5. Hussie Loses His Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holding yourself together when everything around you is falling apart is a tough thing to do.

                In front of the door were two men Hussie didn’t know. A blond man dressed in a bomber jacket and a brunette with a huge smile on his face put up hands and waved at him.

                “Ciao!” Greeted the brunette. “It is nice to see you, ve~”

                “Yeah, what’s up?”

                Hussie’s fear melted instantly.  He stared blankly at them for a few seconds, confused on why some Italian guy and his friend were banging on his door at two in the morning.  “Uh… who are you?”

                “We’re looking for someone we lost,” answered the blond. “She’s a girl with a messy Maye-kyuu cosplay on. She claims her name is Weebcomments?”

                A chill ran down Hussie’s spine. Those two men must have been from the gang after all. They just seemed so oddly friendly and weren’t even wearing clothes that were all that similar… sure, they were wearing what looked like old military uniforms, but they were different colors and the blond guy was wearing a jacket over it. “Nope.” He quickly moved to shut the door, but it was jammed with a pistol.

                Hussie fumbled for his gun, but was shoved backwards by the Italian man, who hadn’t seemed to open his eyes since he arrived at this door.  “Now, now, mister, why don’t we just calm down, yes? We’re only here for the beautiflul girl, ve~ We promise not to hurt you or anyone else as long as you cooperate! Of course, I wouldn’t suggest you get any ideas. You’re a scrawny little guy and there is no way you can overpower my friend over here, ve~ Of course, you would probably be able to beat me into a bloody pulp, but that wouldn’t be a good idea!”

                Hussie was taken aback by the man as he let out an endless stream of words and run-on sentences. His hands froze at his sides as the pistol in the blond man’s hand pointed at him threateningly, his finger playing at the trigger. “C’mon, bro! Don’t make this any harder on you than it’s gotta be,” said the gang member, flashing him a big, jaunty smile.

                Hussie lowered his hands to rest limply at his sides, his hope of drawing his gun before they could get into his house dying and leaving a cold emptiness in his chest as they  stepped inside his home. They left the door wide open and blowing an eerie, cold breeze into the house. “Who are you?” demanded Hussie, but his voce trembled and betrayed the tough act he was trying to pull.

                “That’s not impor-“

                The brunette cut his partner off as he began to babble again. “I’m Feliciano, and this is Alfred, ve~”

                Alfred shot Feliciano an irritated look. “Dude!”

                “But those are only our human names,  Ve~! Don’t tell Doitsu I told you this, but we’re actually the nations, ve~!  I’m Italy, and he is America, Veee~~~”

                America turned to Italy, his gun remaining pointed in Hussie’s direction. “You’re not supposed to tell anyone that,” he hissed.

                “It’s OK, America, as long as Doitsu doesn’t know that we told~”

                America sighed and returned his attention to Hussie, who held his ground and stared at them through hard eyes. They claimed to be countries? Were they insane? Last time Hussie checked, the countries weren’t humans, and even if they were, he lived in America. And America was apparently standing right in front of him, threatening his life with firearms. Nice to know he was about to be murdered by his own country.

                But that still wasn’t what bothered him the most out of what spilled out of Italy’s mouth. Why did they look so familiar to him? Why did they sound so familiar? What was it in the back of his mind that knew something about personified countries?

                “We don’t got all day, pal,” America snapped. “So if you aren’t gonna show us where the girl is, we’re going to have to get her ourselves. Italy, keep this guy here and don’t let him take another step.” He tossed Italy his pistol and then pulled another out of his jacket before approaching the steps and disappearing up into the hall.

                Hussie knew he had to think fast. He whipped his to Italy, nearly giving himself whiplash. He remembered the Italian saying something about being weak, but he was armed. Hussie didn’t like being shot in his own webcomic, let alone shot in real life.

                “Don’t get any ideas…” warned Italy, but he was still smiling.

                Hussie took a deep breath in and stepped forward, his hands up in surrender, hoping he wouldn’t shoot.

                “AAIAIEEEE!” Italy threw the gun into the air and flinched dramatically, pulling his arms into himself and half turning away. “Don’t hurt me, ve! I surrender!” Quicker than Hussie could react, he pulled out a white flag and began to furiously wave it as he dropped to his knees…  just in time for his pistol to land on his head and lay him out flat and sobbing for forgiveness.

                Hussie was quick to grab the abandoned gun. He would be damned before letting his friend get hurt. Racing up the stairs, he planned out his actions for what he was going to do when he got to Weebcomments’ room. The door was already gaping open, and he picked up his speed as he nearly flung himself into her accommodation.

                ---

                Weebcomments was asleep, her Mac Book open and on her stomach when her door flung open and light flooded into her room. She rose up into a sitting position, rubbing her eyes and yawned. “Wha…” Her quiet voice drifted off when her eyes landed on the man walking into her bedroom. No. It couldn’t be. It was him. The man who had chased her when she first stole that old ugly car and drove it to Hussie’s house. Her eyes widened and her stomach dropped so far she thought she was going to be sick. “No…!”

                “Come on, you knew it was going to happen sooner or later,” America cooed. “Just  come on and don’t try and pull anything. That dude downstairs is at gunpoint, and if you don’t get up and get over here, I might just accidentally notify my partner to shoot him.”

                Weebcomments froze. “Don’t hurt him!”

                “I won’t,” assured America. “As long as you go along. I mean, think about it. Dude, you’re living in a house with some creepy dude and the thought of a big, scary, awesome gang tracking you down. Do you really want to live your life afraid of a threat that you’re going to be taken at any moment? We can end this for you. It can all be ov-“ A pillow smacked him right in the face, knocking off his glasses.

                “Fuck off, you big stupid!” Weebcomments hopped into the air, landing next to her bed and tried to sprint past him, but he had recovered quickly enough to grab her by the wrist and point the black pistol in his grip at her head. Weebcomments’ fear skyrocketed and tears grew at her eyes. “N-No…”

                “Stop!”

                America tensed and pushed the barrel of the gun into her temple hard enough for it to hurt. “Take another step and I kill her.”

                “Let her go,” warned Hussie. He felt helpless. He needed to save Weebcomments, but he didn’t know what to do in his state of panic. “Let her go! Or I’ll shoot you before you can blink.”

                America hesitated but let go of Weebcomments, and she ran to Hussie and hid behind him. The two men stood in her room, guns pointed at one another, both of them glaring coldly at each other and lips in a tight line.

                Weebcomments peered around Hussie’s thin frame and then turned and scurried away into MS Paint’s room, hoping to get her comfort.

                Hussie fingered the trigger of his gun faintly. “What do you want with her?”

                “It’s for her own good. It’s not fair, but it’s the most justice the girl will ever get.” America looked a little guilty and there was sadness drifting in the blueness of his eyes.

                “What are you talking about?” Hussie snapped. “Would you just spill it already?”

                America stared at the floor. “… I can’t tell you.” He looked back up to Hussie slowly. “I’m just trying to be the hero here.”

                That’s when it hit him. Hussie nearly gasped, and then shouted aloud, “Hetalia!”

                “What?” America looked at him incredulously.

                “Are you kidding me? What the hell is up with all these batshit cosplayers showing up at my door?!” Hussie was furious. This had to be some kind of joke. His face was getting red with his fury as he spoke, spitting out every word like venom. “You people are fucking crazy! Trying to pull this act, showing up at my door dressed up like some assholes from a goddamn Japanese cartoon!” His hand was shaking violently. “Do you think this is some kind of game? You can’t play with people’s lives like that, you fucking doucebag! You can’t play some kind of cat-and-mouse bullshit and come pounding on my door, waving your guns around like their some kind of toys and threatening my life so you can fucking _role play_. Hetalia? _REALLY?_ I mean, SERIOUSLY? I knew its fans were fucking crazy already, but taking it _this far_? Shipping me with some Japanese dude who made your piece of shit anime is one thing, but showing at my door guns-fucking-a-blazing is a WHOLE ‘NOTHER STORY!”

                America’s jaw was hanging open slightly, and he looked as if he was refusing to believe something. “Wait, you know-“

                “I’m not done talking, bitch,” Hussie snarled. “I should blow a hole into your head right now! How old are you even? You look way too old to be playing around like this! Fucking _grow up_ , you fat nasty trash!”

                America repeatedly opened and closed his mouth, as if he was trying to find the words to speak. “How… how do you know about Hetalia?”

                That seemed to completely make Hussie loose what shit he had gathered after his breakdown. “What are you talking about?! Of course I know what Hetalia is! Nobody ever shuts up about how fucking kawaii it is, or all the yaoi, or how they want America to fuck England up the ass and have fucking sparkly, bishie, sugoi babies they shit out their dicks! Not to mention they practically ship my fandom with theirs-“

                “Wha…What? Dude. I’m not kidding!  How do you know about that? About England, too? I don’t… What? I AM America! I’m not pretending!” In the heat of their anger and confusion, America threw his hands to the side, no longer pointing to to Hussie.

                “Mistake numero uno, bitch tits,” Hussie hissed, pointing his gun to America’s right leg and pulling the trigger.

                He screamed in pain and his legs gave out, and the nation fell into a heap at the floor. “DUDE!”

                Hussie kicked the gun out of America’s hand and to the other side of the room.               

                “I AM America… I am a nation! Bullets aren’t enough to kill me… yeah, they’ll knock me out for a while, but it takes a lot more than that to kill me… ergh…”

                “Fuckin’ liar,” spat Hussie.

                America huffed in a quivering breath and rose to his feet, much to Hussie’s surprise. How was he standing?  “If you don’t believe me, then it’s your own fault, bro.” America seemed to have regained his composure and ignored the pain from his leg. He took a step towards Hussie.

                “Stop,” Hussie warned.

                America took another step.

                Hussie fingered the trigger of the gun. “Take another step and I’ll shoot!”

                America took another step.

                Hussie pulled the trigger.

                ---

                Weebcomments squeaked out of fear and horror when the second gunshot sounded and pushed her face into MS Paint’s stomach, tears leaking into the woman’s clothes. She didn’t know if it was Hussie shooting or the other guy. If she lost Hussie, what would she do? He was the only person besides MS Paint that she knew. She couldn’t lose him. And what was she doing now, sobbing into the woman’s clothes like some kind of baby? No, she had to do something. She shoved away from the lady and stumbled to her feet, ignoring the protesting shouts from MS Paint and fled the room.

                She sprinted down the hall into her own room and skidded to a halt in the doorway, gasping when she saw the body on the floor. Her blood iced over when she laid eyes on the blood pooling around the body and staining her carpet, and her terrified gaze shifted over to Hussie. His back faced her and the gun was held weakly in his limp hands.

                She opened her mouth to call his name, but all she could muster was a whisper. “Andrew?”

                Hussie turned his head to the side, his cold eyes landing on her and striking up fear that she’d never felt before. She stumbled backwards, her breath catching in her throat. “A-Andrew?”


	6. Traveling Through Space and Wibby Wobbly Timey Wimey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When we create something in our minds, in a sense, it becomes real.

                America’s head was swimming when he came to. There was a pain in his chest and he couldn’t remember where he was or what he was doing there, but it felt wrong. He gave a quiet groan and attempted to stand up, but he found that he was roped to a chair. “Wha….aaaaa…?” America struggled, but the ropes were tied very tightly.

            “You’re awake?”

            America lifted his head. “Oh… right.” He remembered now. He was going to get that girl for the boss when the guy helping her went batshit insane and shot him at least a few times. Now, he was sitting in their kitchen, tied to a chair. “Hey.”

            Weebcomments furrowed her eyebrows and brandished a butcher knife that America failed to notice(he wasn’t wearing his glasses). “You should be happy you’re still alive, you punk-baka! Why are you still breathing anyway? And why do you look so familiar?”

            America frowned. Nobody was supposed to know about Hetalia. “I don’t know.”

            “No, no… I’ve seen you somewhere… on… On… OH!” Weebcomments clapped her hands together before pointing to the nation with sudden glee. “You’re America! You’re from Hetalia! Oh, man, I never thought I’d see this day, hee hee! You’re real? I thought you were form an anime? Aren’t those fiction? I mean, I guess I wouldn’t know since I’ve never been to Japan before! Is it actually true that Japan is actually full of animes like you? But why are you animes trying to kill me? What did I do? What-“

            “Whoa, dude, one question at a time…” America sighed and sat up in his restraints. “Look… I’m not supposed to tell you this, but I guess I owe you this at least. Fiction is real, in a  way, or something. In a different dimension.”

            Weebcomments couldn’t believe her ears. “What… does… does that mean that…. YAOI IS REAL?!”

            Hussie walked into the room upon hearing Weebcomments shout. “Yaoi has always been real, dumbass. It’s called being gay.”

            Weebcomments blinked. “That’s different.”

            Hussie didn’t pay her much attention after that remark. Instead, he approached America and squinted at him for a long moment. “So you’re still alive?”

            “Told ya, dude.” America strained his back to point her chest at his captor. “The bullet wound is gone, too.”

            Hussie sighed. As weird as it was, was there anything else to believe? He shot him not only once, but _twice_ , and here he was, up and kicking and without a scratch on him. “So, you’re really America?”

            America nodded. “Yep.”

            “So, I assume what you’re going to tell is that fictional characters aren’t quite so fictional and coexist with humanity in an alternate dimension or dimensions?” Hussie rubbed his chin, not even waiting for an answer from the nation in front of him. “So our imagination sparks reality in another place? And that means if someone were to, oh, I don’t know… make a webcomic, a dimension would form because of the power of their own thoughts?”

            America nodded. “Pretty much, bro.”

            A grin cracked across Hussie’s face. This was a dream come true. Sure, he’d fantasized about this happening, but he never thought it would actually become a reality. He began to giggle, almost fangirlishly, and rubbed his hands together. “How does one access the alternate dimensions?”

            America raised an eyebrow at him. “Why?”

            “Er… I want to visit a dimension of my own, alright?” Hussie admitted. “Just tell me how to get there.”

            America looked uneasy about it. “Dude, I don’t-“

            “It’s…. for the greater good of the characters!” Piped up Weebcomments. “Andrew wants to do them justice.” Weebcomments knew that America was obsessed with justice. Perhaps if she could convince him that they were trying to help someone, he would tell them how to get there.

            “Look guys, It’s not that simple. Having people from different dimensions over only causes trouble for everyone who is in both dimensions… but… if it’s for the safety of other people… if you’re going to be a hero, then count me in!” He gave a huge smile and struggled with the rope. “Let me go and I’ll tell you how.”

* * *

Vriska pushed Tavros away from her. Her shove was rough and sent her matesprit sprawling, not that she really cared. Focusing on travelling through a desert with an odd map wasn’t really the most fun thing in the world, especially not when there was a dumb kid grabbing all over your shoulders.

            Tavros landed on his butt in the sand. “Gosh, calm down, Vriska…” He pushed himself back up to his feet and brushed the sand that stuck to his pants away. “I’m only trying to soothe you. You’re tense, you’ve got knots everywhere.”

            Vriska rolled her eyes. “Tavros, shut the fuck up and keep walking. I’m trying to find something.”

            Tavros stared at the sand for a moment. “You know, Vriska-“

            Vriska suddenly tensed. “Shhhhhhhh, the map is changing again! Lord English is on the… huh? This is different. The cracks never moved like this before…”

            Tavros looked over Vriska’s shoulder curiously. The cracks on the once-blank map were moving at an extreme speed, shattering the darkness on the paper and moving towards their location at a fearful rate. Tavros could feel his mud-colored blood run cold. He looked at Vriska, and she returned the horrified glance.

            “Oh, shi-“

            The air in front of Tavros and Vriska suddenly ripped, quite literally. And out tumbled a group of three- Hussie, Weebcomments, and America. Vriska dropped the map. “No. Way. Are you serious?! It’s you again?! You’re the one who’s been cracking reality?! You, orange guy?!” Her voice increased in pitch as she screamed, her eyes pointed at Hussie.

            Weebcomments squinted at Vriska. “Hey, you’re from Andrew’s comic, aren’t you? You’re Vriska, right?”

            Vriska looked at her furiously, looking near disgusted. “Who’re you?”       

            Hussie sat up quickly, recovering from his face-plant in the sand at breakneck speed. He brushed the sand off of his tongue and was at Vriska’s side before she could get another word out.

            “Uh, aren’t you that creepy orange guy that keeps stalking my matesprit? She’s taken, you creepy asshole,” hissed Tavros(although it came out more like half a shout).

            “You can’t use creepy in the same insult twice,” Hussie retorted, shoving him aside and sending him flying into a mouthful of sand. The man then turned to Vriska and kneeled down, producing a ring from his pocket.

            Weebcomment’s eyes widened when she spotted the golden ring. She felt sick to her stomach. This wasn’t happening. No, no… please, let this be untrue. She found herself trembling as he smiled dreamily up to her and said, “Will you marry me?”

            Tavros screeched with rage that the ring belonged to him and that _he_ was going to propose, and America glanced from Weebcomments to Hussie with wide blue eyes.

            Vriska grinded her teeth together. “I told you no already! Aaauuuuggghhhhhh!!” Her fist connected with Hussie’s jaw, and he found himself flying into America with an almost cartoonish crash.

            Vriska wiped her hand on her shirt as if touching Hussie had covered her in filth and then walked away, not even bothering to help up Tavros as she went.

            Weebcomments could feel her tears threatening to flow. Is this why Hussie wanted to come into Homestuck? So that he could propose to a character he made up? And what was so great about that blue bitch, anyway? How dare she get in the way of Hussie and her relationship?! The girl wiped her eyes before anyone could see they were watery and trudged off into the sand, going the opposite direction of the way Vriska went.

            Tavros rose to his feet and wandered over to Hussie.

            Hussie groaned, her hands in tight fists at his side and the nation beneath him knocked unconscious.

            Tavros took a tight hold on Hussie’s wrist and pried his hands open, only to find that they were empty. “What? What did, you do, with the ring?”

            “My webcomic…” Hussie groaned. “My rules. It’s with John. Ugh….”

            Weebcomments kicked up clouds of sand as she trekked through the furthest ring. She never really read Homestuck, she only browsed a few websites like Tumblr and DeviantART to find out who the characters were. Perhaps if she read it, she would have known about Hussie’s affections for the spidery whore. And maybe she would have known that she was walking through a desert in a place that looked exactly the same from everywhere and didn’t end.

            She turned around for one last look at Hussie and America and that guy with the bull horns(she was pretty sure he was Gamzee) before allowing her tears to flow freely. The bull guy screeched and Weebcomments took it as the sign for her to leave them behind. Maybe she was being a little dramatic. She knew Hussie would say so, but she didn’t believe him herself. He wouldn’t miss her, anyway. He would just go chasing after Vriska Secret or whatever-the-hell her name is, and he would forget all about her. Not even bothering to wipe her eyes, she turned her back to Hussie and continued through the furthest ring in silence.


	7. It Could Be Sort of a Love Triangle but It's More of a Love L Shape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hussie has to make a choice− either go help Weebcomments as she aimlessly wanders the Furthest Ring or stalk Vriska. Of course, he chooses the latter, but not before royally screwing himself over by making some dumb decisions.

            Hussie wasn’t sure when he actually lost consciousness. All he knew was that he was lying on top of that blond guy, they were somewhere in the Furthest Ring, and Weebcomments was missing. He sat up and rubbed his jaw, which was hurting like a mother. The guy under him didn’t protest. He was still out cold. Hussie took a quickly scanned the desert around him. He could tell by three half-covered sets of footprints that he hadn’t been out for long. If he moved quickly, he could catch up to Vriska.

            He climbed to his feet and shoved his hands into his pockets. Usually, the thought of actually being in his webcomic would terrify him, but he knew that with just a thought, he could change anything; anything that hadn’t happened yet, anyway. The comic’s dimension moved without updates, as well. Those times moved when Hussie thought about what would happen next. That was how they got into the world in the first place, anyhow. It only took a simple thought− for a portal between dimensions to be accessed easily as long as he himself was there. All he had to do was ask to go back to his dimension and he would take himself and whoever else he wished for to go back home.

            America stirred lightly, catching Hussie’s attention. Hussie watched him roll over onto his stomach and fall still, and then he turned back to the two sets of footprints that headed to the right. Those had to be Vriska and Tavros’ footprints. A scowl found itself on Hussie’s face. What was he thinking, pairing Vriska up with Tavros? And he’d thought of her saying yes to him, why didn’t she accept his proposal? Perhaps it was like a doomed timeline or something. Hussie groaned and cursed his clever, clever mind for Homestuck’s complications.

            “Oh, yeah, what about her?” Hussie looked over his shoulder to glance at the third set of footsteps that branched out to the left. Those had to be Weebcomments’. Poor girl probably didn’t know that she was in the Furthest Ring; she would probably keep walking for an eternity. And what had made her wander off like that, anyway? That didn’t sound all that much like her. Hussie figured she probably would’ve stuck around because she knew that he was the one who ran the webcomic. He knew best how to stay alive and stay safe. Hussie’s stare returned to Vriska’s footprints. He could only go one way or the other… what was he to do? He couldn’t let Weebcomments keep roaming around, but there was no way in Hell he would let Vriska escape again.

            Oh, right. Maybe he could just bring her back with a thought. He focused for a moment and imagined Weebcomments back at his side, but nothing happened. Maybe it just didn’t work on people who didn’t belong to that dimension? Hussie had a simple solution to the problem. With another quick thought, there was a suspicious clump of sand at his feet. Hussie kneeled down and brushed it away, revealing a powered-off Hussiebot. Okay, so maybe he was breaking the rules of his own webcomic by doing that, but it wasn’t like his fans would ever know. It only took a quick tweaking to power the bot on.

            Hussiebot’s eyes flashed on and interlocked his eyes with Hussie’s own. He sat up and sighed. “I can’t believe you’re doing this right now,” Hussiebot said irritably.

            “Shut up and get moving,” Hussie commanded. “Go find Weebcomments. You can teleport, so when you get her, bring her to the first dream bubble in your files. I’ll be there with Vriska.”

            Hussiebot would have rolled his eyes if he could have. Instead, he got to his feet and began to trudge in the direction that Weebcomments had fled. His movements weren’t very quick. He must have not been made for traveling through that terrain. Silently, he cursed Hussie for that. Knowing Hussie, and he did, he did that on purpose.

* * *

            Weebcomments had to be walking for at least half an hour in the same direction and everything still looked identical to her leaving point. It was ridiculous. How much longer did she have to go before she actually got anywhere? Even if it was just to a landmark, she would appreciate it. There was no way she would turn back, though, even if she had to walk through the desert forever. She knew that she was stubborn, but she didn’t care. She would rather die than stay around Vriska and that other troll (what was his name again? Gamzee? Kanaya?).

            She could not believe Hussie actually proposed to that girl. Not only did he not even know she really existed until what, an hour ago, but he also blatantly did said thing right in front of Weebcomments’ face. She couldn’t help but blame Vriska for that (it was always someone else’s fault when something went wrong in a ship, especially if the guy liked some other girl. There was always some girl getting in the way of the hot yaoi− er, the relationship).

            Okay, so maybe Hussie didn’t know that she had a huge crush on him. Even so, it was still Vriska’s fault! How dare she steal Hussie’s affections? Weebcomments would get her revenge if it was the last thing she did. More minutes passed as she walked in silence and there was not a single difference in her surroundings.

            “Ugh,” Weebcomments groaned loudly. “This is soooo baka! I can’t believe this is happening to me. Why did I have to come into this dumb webcomic? Why did I have to go to Andrew’s house out of any other place?” Her gaze dropped to her own feet. “Why are those animes after me? What could I possibly have done to deserve this torture?” She fell silent after that. She looked back up to where she was walking and continued to haul herself through the deep sands to the unknown, no intentions of turning back slowing her down.

* * *

 

            Vriska was well aware of the creepy orange guy. He was hiding somewhere behind a rock, staring at her with a gaze that burned to intensely that it felt like she had her back turned on a fire. What was wrong with that guy, anyway? Couldn’t he tell that she had the quadrant he longed for filled already? Not that she would ever be interested in such a weirdo.

            “You know, if you wanted, I could take out that orange guy for you, Vriska.” Tavros stepped ahead of Vriska and turned his determined stare her way. “I’m sure I could, give him a few good punches in the face, and then, kick him a few times.”

            Vriska rolled her eyes, but a faint smile showed on her face. “Like you ever could do something like that!”

            Tavros glowered. “Could to. I am, a lot stronger than I was before, ever since we were one sprite−“

            “Uuuuuuuugh! I thought we agreed to never speak of that again,” interrupted Vriska irritably. “I can’t believe that happened. Yuck.”

            Tavros looked insulted, but didn’t say anything.

            Hussie lowered himself to sit completely behind the stone and turned to press his back against it. What was he to do now? She wouldn’t accept his proposal and Tavros was still in the way. He considered just killing Tavros then and there, but how would that affect the dimension and his webcomic?

            Before he could do much else, the sound of footsteps came in his direction, and he looked up to see that Meenah was standing next to him and giving his a funny look. Great, not sea Hitler.

            “Yo,” Meenah greeted. “Aren’t you that guy from before?”

            Hussie narrowed his eyes at her. Did things go differently than he wrote, or what? It had to be because he went back to earlier in the comic or something. “Go away, kid. I’m busy.”

            “Water you doin’?” Meenah pressed.

            “If you must know,” Hussie sighed, spinning around to peer over the rock again. “I’m watching the love of my life.”

            “The what?” Meenah followed his gaze, a disgusted look growing on her face. “Eww, isn’t she, like, way too young for you, orange buoy?”

            Hussie rolled his eyes. “Would you go away? You’re blowing my cover!” He considered mentioning the rings again, but he knew how that would result for him. He would spend all of the money he ~~scammed~~ got out of his fans for the kickstarter on some gross rings she snagged from Cronus. There was no way Vriska would accept anything that belonged to an Ampora.

            Meenah scowled at him. “Whatev, catch you later, orange guy. If I’m unluckly.”

            Hussie didn’t watch her go.

* * *

 

            Hussiebot could see Weebcomments in the distance. He felt a spark somewhere in his programming, he assumed it was, and sped up. Weebcomments was moving pretty slowly at that point, so it wasn’t hard to catch up. She didn’t seem to have noticed him as he came up behind her, so he placed a cold, metallic hand on her shoulder. She jumped and whirled around to face him.

            “And….rew…?” Her face was shrouded in confusion. “Who’re you?”

            “I’m pretty much a robotic Andrew Hussie,” Hussiebot replied. “He calls me Hussiebot. I would prefer it if you called me Andrew.” Hussiebot’s arm returned to his side. “He sent me here to find you.”

            Weebcomments’ confusion vanished and was replaced with anger. “I don’t want anything to do with Andrew… Er, the other Andrew.” Her arms crossed stubbornly over her chest. “He went and proposed to that Vriska troll right in front of me!”

            “Yeah, I know. He’s a dick. I have no idea why he would do something like that, especially when you’re there. What’s so great about Vriska, anyway?” Hussiebot shrugged as an answer to his own question.

            Weebcomments smiled warmly. “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.”

            Hussiebot face palmed. “I cannot believe you just said that to me.”

            Weebcomments giggled. “You know, I think I like you a lot more than the regular Andrew. But I still have a question. How come he likes Vriska and you don’t, if you’re pretty much him except metal?”

            Hussiebot didn’t think about that earlier. He rubbed the back of his neck. “If he programmed me with the same feelings as him, I would have gone off to find Vriska even if he told me not to. I guess he just didn’t put those there.”

            “Oh…” Weebcomments’ smile faded slightly, but she forced a small, mirthless laugh anyway.

            Hussiebot’s heart skipped a beat (why did robots have hearts anyway? This is stupid). He probably would have laughed with her if he wasn’t a robot. Robots in Homestuck tended to be more serious than their fleshy counterparts, as well as more violent. Or maybe that was only when Equius made them…

            Weebcomments sighed. “Can you get me out of this stupid desert?”

            Hussiebot nodded. “Yeah.” He reached a hand out to her, palm up in a welcome to grab a hold of it. “I’ll take you somewhere else.”

            Weebcomments blushed slightly. “Thanks, Andrewbot.” Without hesitation, she placed her hand on top of his, a warm feeling igniting in her chest like a fire when he closed his hand over hers. She watched him curiously as he turned and looked ahead of them, his red eyes glowing slightly. Then, the desert was gone in an instant and the two were standing alone in a room somewhere on the meteor Karkat and Dave and Rose and the others were located in the webcomic.

            “What are we supposed to do until Andrew gets back?” Weebcomments scanned the room. “I don’t even know where we are.”

            “On a meteor,” Hussiebot replied. “Andrew is supposed to meet us here soon.”

            Weebcomments sighed angrily and sat down against a wall. There was a big pile of horns in the center of the room that caught her attention, and she looked to Hussiebot quizzically. “Uh… why is there a pile of clown horns on the floor?”

            Hussiebot took a seat next to her and pulled his knees into his chest. “The trolls use it as a bed. I would blame their stoner clown friend.”

            Weebcomments raised an eyebrow at him. “A ‘stoner clown’?”

            Hussiebot nodded. “Calls himself Gamzee.”

            “I thought Gamzee was the one engaged to the spider bitch?” Weebcomments was confused. There was like fifty trolls, wasn’t there? How did people remember their names so easily?

            Hussiebot scoffed. “No, that’s Tavros, dumbass.”

            Weebcomments elbowed him gently in the side, grinning. “Hey! You’re supposed to be the nice Andrew, remember?”

            Hussiebot nearly smiled. “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

            Weebcomments’ mood had gone up since she was around Hussiebot. She was glad that he was there for her when the regular Hussie wasn’t. Part of her felt guilty for wanted to have never met Hussie in the first place. Hussiebot reminded her how much she cared for him.

            “What are you going to do about Hussie now that you know about his freak obsession with Vriska?” Piped up Hussiebot out of the blue.

            Weebcomments looked at him, but he wasn’t looking back. “I… don’t know.”

            Hussiebot fell silent. How dare Hussie leave poor, innocent Weebcomments out to wander across the Furthest Ring by herself? She was just about his only friend ever since Ryan North and he had that falling out. Why would he abandon her for some girl? And what was so great about Vriska? Just the thought of Hussiebot leaving Weebcomments’ side to go drool over some blue-blooded bitch made his oil boil. What did that Serket have that Weebcomments didn’t?

            Wait a minute.

            Hussiebot suddenly jerked his body up into a straight position and caused Weebcomments to jump. _Did Hussie program him with feelings for Weebcomments?_ He could feel his anger grow tenfold. He did not. That douche did _not_. Oh, but he did. Hussiebot could feel his heartbeat increase when Weebcomments’ eyes landed on him. Andrew Hussie Equius’d him! He must have programmed feelings for her so that he would be sure to get her from the Firthest Ring.

            Weebcomments worriedly noticed that Hussiebot was shaking violently next to her. Her eyes widened and fear made her stomach leap into her throat. “Andrewbot? Are you okay?!” She got onto her knees and put a hand on his shoulder leaning over to get a better look at his face.

            He turned his head away from her, his hands clamped onto his head as he trembled.

            “Andrewbot? Andr−“

            Hussiebot suddenly turned and grabbed her by the shoulders before yanking her into a rushed and desperate kiss.


	8. Robots and Kawaii Trolls from Nihon Desu ^_^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without Hussie around, it's just Weebcomments and Hussiebot. Oh, and Damara, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used Google Translate like a kawaii mofo.

Weebcomments was in a frozen state of shock. One moment, she was worriedly seated next to a robotic Hussie, and the next, she had cold, metallic lips pressed against her own. The kiss was short and needy, and then Weebcomments was released and the robot was shoving itself into a corner.

Weebcomments pushed a finger against her lips. What had just happened? That came out of nowhere! She stammered for a moment as she attempted to find her words. "An..Andrewbot, what has that all about…?"

Hussiebot had his back facing her and appeared to be staring at a wall. He didn't respond to her.

"Andrewbot?" Weebcomments got to her feet and walked over to him. "It's okay, just… tell me what happened?" Her face was redder than a tomato and her steps were short and awkward.

Hussiebot's shoulders slumped and he halfheartedly turned to look at her. "I apologize, Weebcomments. I don't know what came over me." His voice wavered under the weight of his sadness and desperation. He sounded like he was going to burst into tears at any second (although Weebcomments doubted he would since she was almost positive robots can't cry).

Weebcomments blinked and put a hand on his shoulder. "D-Don't cry, Andrewbot! I.. just… I don't know how to deal with all of this. I mean, yeah, I like Andrew, but you…? Not that there's anything wrong with you, it's just that you're a robot−"

"I knew you would say that!" Hussiebot was suddenly on his feet, shoving a finger into Weebcomments' face. "You don't care! You don't care about me! You just want the real Andrew Hussie!" Before Weebcomments could react, Hussiebot wheeled around and ran out of the room with his face in his hands, sobbing.

Weebcomments gaped at the door. What was she supposed to do? She never really saw herself dating a robot, even if he did kind of look exactly the same as Hussie. Was that racist? She felt filthy for that. Hussiebot did say he was pretty much exactly the same as Hussie, though, so being a robot would be the only difference, wouldn't it? And if Hussiebot is the same as regular, fleshy Hussie, then does he have feelings for Weebcomments, too? All this wondering was hurting the poor girl's brain. She slumped against the wall and groaned, staring at the ceiling. This was too much. She needed to think.

She would have to have time to think, later, though, because the door to the room she sat in swung open without warning. Weebcomments looked to see who stood there and her eyes landed on an unfamiliar troll in what Weebcomments could nearly call a schoolgirl outfit and her hair in a bun. It was Damara Megido, but Weebcomment's knew not her name (the only characters she knew were Nepeta, Karkat, and Jade). She actually looked Japanese. That was enough to bring up her mood tenfold. Weebcomments hopped to her feet and ran over to Damara waving. "Konichiwa!"

Damara looked at her with disgust, but Weebcomments did not notice. Damara drew a lip back in a snarl. "あなたは誰です?"

Weebcomments blinked. "Umm…" Even though she found joy in speaking broken Japanese, she couldn't understand a lick of it. She only knew a few words here and there. "Um… sorry! I don't really know any Japanese, desu! I only know some bits I learned from animes! I love your country! I wish I was Japanese. Japanese people are the best and the country is the best there is! The rest of the countries are so not-kawaii. They're ugly and stupid and there is nothing more Sugoi than Nihon! Kyaaa! I can't believe I'm meeting a real-life Japansese person right now!" Without asking for permission, Weebcomments leaped into Damara in a glomp.

She knocked Damara over and they both collapsed on the ground.

A dangerous smirk appeared on the troll's face. "私はあなたがそれが粗いように見る。"

Weebcomments giggled. "My name is Weebcomments! What's yours?"

"名前は重要ではありません。"

Weebcomment's stared at her blankly. "…What? Oh! Do you like Vocaloid? I love Vocaloid, have you heard Len? Isn't he just _smexy_? Ohmygosh, we are going to be best friends! You can teach me all about Japan and teach me how to speak Japanese and everything!" At this point, Weebcomments was speaking so quickly that she was running out of breath. "We are going to be such good friends!" She leaned down and pressed her cheek against Damara's chest. "You are so kawaii, my new best friend!"

The door opened again and in stepped Rufioh. He looked at the two of them with wide eyes. "Ah, jeez! Next time put a sock on the door or something." He began to backtrack out of the room, but Weebcomments looked up at him with deep puzzlement. "Huh? No, we aren't doing yuris." She climbed off of Damara, who nearly grabbed her leg and yanked her back down.

"Oh." He let a small smile appear on his face. "Okay, then. May I ask your name, baby doll?"

Weebcomments smiled back. "I'm Weebcomments."

Rufioh nodded. "My name's Rufioh Nitram. I see you've met Damara." He flicked his head in Damara's direction without making eye contact and she growled at him.

"Damara? So that's her name…" Weebcomments blushed a little. "She seems like a really nice person!"

Rufioh's smile faded. "Er…." He lowered his voice a little, but it wasn't very effective. "Listen, sweetheart. Damara isn't someone you want to get involved with. She… she brings a lot of trouble wherever she goes." He gave Weebcomments a sad smile. "You really shouldn't hang around her too much."

Weebcomments glanced back to Damara, but she was only glaring at Rufioh.

"Oh yeah, and I saw some robot guy run outta here in tears. Do you know him?" Rufioh was frowning. "Poor guy seemed really beat up about something."

Weebcomments forgot all about Hussiebot. She sighed. "Oh… right… Um, yeah, I do know him. I think it's about time I talked to him. Can you tell me where he went?"

Rufioh's friendly smile returned with fervor. "Of course I can."

* * *

Hussiebot was pretty sure he was in Karkat's dream bubble somewhere. He recognized the area from his files. He had roamed somewhere away from the alpha trolls after successfully escaping the ever-caring Mueilin, who had tried to talk to him and told him that Weebcomments would come to her senses after managing to coax why he was sobbing out of him. She even drew him a little picture on a notepad she was carrying of he and Weebcomments holding hands with a heart over their heads. She claimed that she shipped it and "If it's the last thing this ship will do, then it will sail and prospurr furever!"

Hussiebot stared at the picture longingly. "Sweet, sweet Weebcomments," he whispered to the paper. "Can't you see that I'm better than Hussie? I can be all you ever wanted and more." His lonely crooning to a sloppy drawing brought sadness choking him up again. He hugged the paper into his chest tightly, crumpling it up slightly. "Why won't you come to me?"

"Um… Hi."

Hussiebot jumped and looked over his shoulder, holding the paper with even more force protectively. His heart jumped when he realized that it was Weebcomments standing behind him awkwardly. He got to his feet excitedly. "Weebcomments?"

Weebcomments waved at him shyly. "I was thinking, Andrewbot." She scratched the back of her neck and grinned. "Hussie is hanging out with Vriska now, so you're all I've got. So, yeah, um… let's go out."

Hussiebot had to have stared at her for at least five seconds in silence, dropping the paper in his hands out of shock.

Weebcomments watched him nervously. "Um… Andrewbot…?"

Hussiebot literally sweeped her off of her feet and carried her bridal-style as he raced through the dream bubble, much to Weebcomments' shock. She shrieked, but then it developed into a laugh and she clung onto him even though he had a ridiculous grip on her.

"Where are we going?" She giggled.

Hussiebot didn't slow as he spoke. "To a new dream bubble."


	9. I Declare This Ship Canon in the Name of Homestuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hussie returns to the spot where he is to meet Hussiebot and Weebcomments, only to find that they stood him up. After a bit of crying, he is informed that they could be dating. This is not okay. This will never be okay.

Hussie would’ve cried some more, but he had run out of tears a long time ago. Vriska had to have rejected him for the tenth time that day, and now he was sitting alone in the cold, dank, dark room he’d told Hussiebot to take Weebcomments when he found her. He wasn’t surprised they weren’t there already. With his luck, Weebcomments was still wandering the desert aimlessly and Hussiebot was broken down and half buried in sand. He choked on a dry sob and brought his head back swiftly, hammering the back of his head on the wall he was sitting against. 

“What was I thinking?” Hussie groaned. He knew full well what he was thinking, and if he knew this would happen, he would’ve gone after Vriska anyway. He just loved her too much. 

Hussie couldn’t even have any privacy at this point. The door slowly swung open and A horned head peered into the room. Hussie recognized who it was immediately(of course he did, it was his own character). It was Rufioh Nitram, probably one of the best trolls to find him in that situation. For the first time in a long time, he felt lucky. At least it wasn’t Damara or Meenah. The kind low-blooded troll’s face shadowed with worry when his eyes landed on the sobbing Hussie and he slipped into the room.  
“Uh-oh,” he said aloud to himself. “What’s wrong?”

Hussie looked helplessly up at the mutated troll. “I messed up.”

Rufioh frowned at him, but took a seat beside him. “You wanna talk about it, sweetheart?”

Hussie stared down at the floor silently, but nodded. “Yeah.” His voice was tiny in his throat, almost coming out as a whisper.

Rufioh gave him a supporting smile softly even though Hussie wasn’t looking at him. He put a hand on his back. “Go ahead.”

Hussie took a deep breath. “I abandoned a friend in the Furthest Ring to chase a girl. And now I don’t have either.”

Rufioh’s smile faltered. “Oh, man, that’s no good.”  
“Yeah. I was supposed to meet her here.” Hussie sat up and hugged his knees into his chest. “But she’s not here.”

Rufioh tilted his head at Hussie, nearly knocking him in the head with his horns. “Wait just a minute… you look real familiar, friend. Have I seen you before?”

Hussie shrugged and looked over to the troll helplessly.

Rufioh’s eyes flashed with realization. “Oh! You got a robot version of yourself, pal?”

Hussie stared at Rufioh. Hussiebot? How did he know about Hussiebot? “Yes…” He could feel his anger begin to form. Did Hussiebot show up without Weebcomments? His face darkened. “Why?”

Rufioh noticed his arising rage and put up his hands defensively. “Whoa, Whoa!” He laughed a little nervously. “Don’t get angry, now. I saw him running around here in tears.” He lowered his hands to his sides and watched the confusion grow on Hussie’s face thoughtfully. “What did this girl look like?”

“Well…” Hussie began. “She’s young-looking. A lot younger than she really is. She’s got a pink T-shirt on and a pair of jeans, I think. She has blond hair, maybe dirty blond, and pretty cute, I guess. She––”

Rufioh clasped his hands together with a smile. “Oh! I know who you’re talking about now. She was here earlier. She asked me where your robot buddy ran off to and I told her. She went chasing after him. I saw them again later. I think the ‘bot was holding her and running off to who knows where. They came back, though.” He chuckled a little. “I found a paper with a drawing of them together on it. It looked like Meulin drew them a shipping picture. She told me later on that they ‘were canon now’.”

Hussie’s face went blank. Hussiebot and Weebcomments? This had to be some kind of joke. For reasons unknown, his blood was boiling. He could feel his rage burning every inch of his body. That traitor! Sure, Hussie programmed him to have feelings for Weebcomments, but that was only so that he wouldn’t run off to find Vriska, too. He knew just how irresistible that blue blood was. He gave him flushed feelings for his friend so that she wouldn’t be lost in an endless desert forever. He didn’t tell him to date her!

“I’m pretty sure they’re matesprits now.”

“Oh, hell no.”

Rufioh blinked and returned his gaze to Hussie, only to find that he was shaking with pent up fury. “Uh, you okay?”

Hussie rose to his feet without a word. “Where did they go?”

Rufioh looked to the door. “They headed to a dream bubble not far from here. It’s to the left of here. Last I checked, Meulin and Kurloz were hanging out near it, so look for them.”

Hussie was out of the door before Rufioh could get out another word. He was racing our of the building, turning to the left and scanning the pastel-colored lands around him for the alpha Leijon and the stoner clown’s dancestor. He spotted Meulin and Kurloz and the dream bubble all at the same time. Meulin looked at him curiously and appears as if she was going to greet him, but Hussie was practically airborne as he dived into the dream bubble as soon as she saw him.

Hussie tumbled onto solid ground and landed neatly on one hand and one knee, like in the movies. In fact, he was almost surprised by his own badassery. Almost. It only took one look for Hussie to realize that he was in the living room of his own house. No surprise there; Hussie programmed Hussiebot to have all of his memories, since he was just a cold, hard, metal version of himself. He strained his ears to listen for voices, only to be met with a deafening silence.

Hussie looked to the kitchen and then back to the living room. Not a living soul resided inside. He moved on to his doorway, then looked to the stairs. He quietly approached the staircase and took a few steps up. The sound of girlish giggling sounded from the hallway. He narrowed his eyes and swept up the stairs silently, as if he were a ghost moving just above the surface of the floors. He paused in his hallway, hands pressed against the walls and listened again.

“I did not,” Weebcomments giggled from Hussie’s bedroom. “Ohmygosh, shut up, that never happened…!”

Hussie could practically hear her blushing in her voice. The flames of his anger licked his stomach and set it ablaze. Hussiebot was not allowed to make her blush. Only the original Hussie himself could do that. Hussie’s hands formed into fists and rested at his sides. His steps continued to be soundless as he dragged himself to the door of his own bedroom.  
\--  
Hussiebot stopped sprinting when he reached his dream bubble. Meulin was sitting on the floor, doodling cheerfully and humming a tune a few feet away from it with colorful crayons made of what Hussiebot could only assume was the finest shades of wiggler blood. She looked up at him and her face lightened with glee. “Eeeeee!!” She dropped her crayons and brought her hands against her chest. “I knew it! I pawsitively knew it! I told you that you two would get togefur. Completely one huntdred purrsent canon!”

Weebcomments blushed a little.

“You two make such a cute couple!”

Weebcomments’ blush intensified and Hussiebot peered down at her as fondly as a robot could.

“I’m going to update my shipping wall right now!” Meulin frantically flipped through her notepad to a page covered in detailed, colorful pictures of her friends together labeled with the correct quadrants. She began to sketch Hussiebot and Weebcomments together quicker than Weebcomments thought was even possible(pawsible?).  
“Thanks, Nepeta,” Weebcomments said, proud that she remembered the name of a troll this time.

Meulin looked at her with confusion. “Who?”

Hussiebot smirked. “That’s Meulin, not Nepeta.”

Weebcomments looked at him, puzzled. “What?”

Hussiebot only shook his head and hopped into the dream bubble, causing the world around them to vanish. The next thing Weebcomments knew, they were back in Hussie’s home. She squeaked with a combination of shock and glee. “We’re back home!”

Hussiebot set her down and held her steady on her feet. “Not quite. We’re still in the Homestuck world, Weebcomments. This is just a memory of Andrew Hussie’s life. I brought us back to one where he was out with a friend, Ryan North. Back when they shared this house with MS Paint.”

“Oh…” Weebcomments couldn’t help but sound a little disappointed. She was disappointed. She missed home.

Hussiebot put a hand out to hers but stopped half way nervously. 

Weebcomments smiled a little and took his hand, avoiding eye contact.

Hussiebot began to walk to the staircase and took her up into Hussie’s room and took a seat on his bed. He was glad he chose a date before Hussie went batshit for Vriska and got all that merchandise. He would hate for Weebcomments to have to see that.

Weebcomments sat next to him. “So… Um… what now?”

Hussiebot shrugged after hesitation. “I don’t know. “I’ve never had a girlfriend before.”

Weebcomments tilted her head to the side ever-so-slightly. “I thought you are Andrew?” 

“I am.” Hussiebot scooted himself back on the bed, far enough to keep his legs from dangling off the sides. “Andrew has never had a girlfriend, either.”

Weebcomments blinked. “Oh… wow, I didn’t know that.”

Hussiebot shrugged, “I guess that changed today, doesn’t it?” 

Weebcomments smiled a little. “Yeah, well, I’m not Andrew’s girlfriend! I’m yours, and there’s a difference.”

Hussiebot looked at her quizzically. “Oh?”

“Yeah. One of them is a dick and the other is a sweetheart.”

Hussiebot snorted. “Right. Well, yeah. Remember the time he shoved his hand down your shirt?”

Weebcomments blushed furiously. “Shut up, I don’t want to remember that.” She liked to be teased, though, and Hussiebot knew it.

Hussiebot chuckled. “I bet he cupped a feel.”

Weebcomments gaped at him. “Shut up! O.M.G. Shut up!!”

Hussiebot laughed freely for the first time in all his shorty, robotic life. “Alright, alright… but remember when you thought he had a girl in his room?”

Weebcomments hid her face behind her hands. “I did not,” she shrieked, but it came out as more of a giggle. “Ohmygosh, shut up, that never happened…!” Her blush grew behind her hands and Hussiebot gently took her by her wrists and moved her hands out of her face. “Why are you hiding your beautiful face?”

Weebcomments giggled. “Stop…!”

“Like you actually want me to,” he scoffed. “You know you like to be teased.”  
Weebcomments opened her mouth to say something, but silenced herself when Hussiebot began to lean in. Her heartbeat raced. Wasn’t he moving a little quickly? She abandoned that thought as soon as it came. No, that had to be normal. People always had their first kiss on the first date in the fan fictions she read. Besides, technically, that was their second date, and she still hadn’t been kissed, so maybe it was overdue? Then again, he’d kissed her before they even started dating… maybe that one didn’t count? Her thoughts came to a halt when cold metal lips connected with hers.

Hussie stood in the doorway with wide, horrified eyes. “OH, HELL NO.”

Weebcomments jumped and broke off the kiss quickly, turning to look at Hussie incredulously. 

Hussiebot looked to him with heavy irritation. 

Hussie was seething, but his face was blank. 

Weebcomments shock faded into anger. “Andrew? What are you doing here? I thought you were looking for that bitch, Vriska.”

Hussie glared at her, but pointed to Hussiebot. “Why were you making out with robot me?”

Weebcomments face turned the lightest hue of pink. “If you must know, we’re dating.”

“Weebcomments and I are matesprits now,” clarified Hussiebot.

“No,” Hussie snarled, his anger finally surfacing. “No.” His fiery eyes looked  
from the girl to the robot repeatedly. “Who said you could date each other?”

“Who said I had to get permission from you?” sneered Weebcomments.

“Of course you have to get my permission! You’re my moirial, you dumb ho!” Hussie pulled a trembling fist to his side. 

“Your what?” Weebcomments looked at him with confusion.

“It’s like a best friend, but more,” explained Hussiebot. “But last I checked, moirials don’t bail out on each other to chase girls.”

“What would you know, you tin can piece of shit?” Hussie screeched. “You’re like me, but worse! You don’t even know what a friend is!”

Weebcomments was lost. “Why are you so angry about this?” she questioned. “Why do you care who I date?”

Hussie froze for a moment. Why did he care? He loved Vriska, not Weebcomments, right? His faltering only lasted a moment and then he had a comeback on his tongue. “Maybe it’s a little creepy or weird that you’re dating me,“ he hissed. “But not me! Just a robot me that I made to find you! I didn’t mean for you two to start dating! Yeah, okay, so maybe I programmed him to have feelings for you, but I didn’t think… I didn’t know you returned them!” He pointed accusingly at the girl, his face red from a mixture of rage and a lack of breath.

“You what?!” Weebcomments looked like she was about to leap onto Hussie and rip out his eyes. ‘YOU DID WHAT?!” She was on her feet in a millisecond and tackled him to the floor, grabbing a hold of the collar of his shirt.

Hussie was just a bit more than a little scared. “I-I had to make sure he wouldn’t run off to hit on Vriska! I wasn’t about to let my best friend wander the fucking Endless Desert of Death for the rest of her life!”

Weebcomments had lifted a fist to punch him across the face in the middle of his sentence, but stopped in mid-swing when she heard what he said. “…You actually cared?” Her voice softened.

Hussie nodded. “Of course I care, dumbass. What made you think I didn’t care?”

Weebcomments gentleness vanished instantly upon thinking of the moment Hussie abandoned her for Vriska. “You ditched me for the spider girl!” she roared. “What do you think made me think that?!”

Hussie groaned angrily. “I made a mistake! I was caught up in love, okay?!”

Weebcomments punched him in the jaw, earning herself a satisfying yelp from the man under her. “That’s not a good reason!” Her eyes were cold and she felt only a tiny pang of remorse when he began to cry and crawled off of him to return to Hussiebot’s side. He was hiding on the other side of the bed, peering at her from the top of it.

She smiled at him gently and patted the spot next to her, motioning for him to sit next to her. 

He crawled onto the bed and sat next to her. “Jesus, you’ve got a temper.”

“What can I say, I’m tsundere.” She grinned proudly and leaned in to kiss him.

Hussie rose to his feet and looked at them after he finally stopped crying and the sight he caught was like a second punch to the jaw. By Equius. 

Weebcomments and Hussiebot stopped kissing to glance at Hussie, who was  
shaking violently and burst into a fit of sobbing and collapsed on the floor. He curled up into himself, face buried in his knees and his legs folded into his stomach. His bitter tears stung more than the punch he took had and he was crying so hard he thought he was going to pass out.

Weebcomments exchanged glances with Hussiebot. She sighed and opened her mouth to say something when she was cut short by yet another intruder.

“Ve~ Hello~! Oh, what’s going on in here? Am I interrupting something, ve~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~? Should I come back at another time?”

Weebcomments looked to Italy with horror.

“Pardon.” The next voice was heavy with a Russian accent and Italy quickly hopped to the side. A big man holding what looked like a sink faucet and pipe stepped into the room with a creepy, yet somehow innocent smile playing on his face. “Hello, da. Is too late to run, da. Come with me, Weebcomments, da?”


	10. Gravel and Rose Petals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weebcomments is faced with her final enemy, the leader of the gang, and must choose between Hussie and Hussiebot. Her reality becomes even more distorted than she imagined it could, and her life rests in her own hands. The problem is, she doesn't know what to do or where to go... one mistake can result in her demise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is finally coming to an end. It was a real joy to write!

There was even more chaos in the room than before in a matter of seconds. The Russian man stepped into the room and Hussiebot hopped up to stop him. Hussie continued to cry on the floor, Italy skipped into the room carelessly, and behind him, a flood of more gang members followed. Weebcomments could remember them all by that point. Japan, France, China, and England came into the room brandishing guns and made way for one last person. A blond man walked in the room holding an odd purple gun and wearing a neutral expression. It was Germany.

Russia grabbed Hussiebot with ease and pulled him away from Weebcomments kicking and screaming. 

Germany walked up to Weebcomments and stopped in front of her, staring down at her with sadness in her eyes.

Weebcomments’ head hurt just looking at him. He looked so familiar it was painful. More familiar than anyone else in the room. It was like she knew him personally. But that was impossible, wasn’t it? He was just a fictional character.

Germany kneeled down to her height and made eye contact evenly. “I’m sorry.”

China nodded. “Aru,” he agreed.

Weebcomments looked at him with confusion. “What?”

Germany seemed to be tearing up. “I’m just so sorry…”

Then, it hit her. Weebcomments gasped as the painful memories flowed back into her mind. She could remember now. Remember everything.

Weebcomments wasn’t her name. No, her name was Marlena and she was not that into Hetalia or Vocaloid or anything. She liked Homestuck. She could name all of the trolls easily and it was all so clear and confusing at the same time. She looked into Germany’s eyes and horror dawned on her face as her realization hit her like a train.

“Dad?”

Germany’s eyes widened. “What…? How do you remember that?!”

Hussiebot quieted and Hussie’s sobs silenced as he uncurled himself and looked up from the floor to the nation and the girl in the room. “W…What? Oh my fucking…  
you’re kidding me…”

The other nations were quiet, too. Germany’s tears began to flow freely. 

“Marlena, how do you remember me?” He placed hands on her shoulders.

“I don’t know… I just remembered when I looked at you! But I don’t remember  
everything. Why… Dad, why are you trying to kill me?”

Germany choked but forced himself to speak. “You deserve to know. As you can tell, you aren’t from the same Earth as the man crying on the floor.” He nodded his head to Hussie while remaining eye contact with Marlena. “You are from my dimension, Marlena. The Hetalia dimension. Travels between dimensions are very dangerous, Marlena. They just aren’t meant to be. And when someone finds a way to get between them, they endanger broth the dimension they are originally from and the one they went to. It is never supposed to happen, and so they doom both the dimensions they are between if they stay too long.

“The only way to stop the dimensional destruction is to kill the traveler. I wish it was any other way, Marlena, I do… but I cannot allow you to destroy two dimensions because you do not like it in our world. Even if you are my German… my daughter… I made you think that your name was Weebcomments and made you think you were something you are not so that you wouldn’t resist as well. So that you couldn’t remember this. We made you into a weeaboo. That is why you always heard Italy overdo the ‘ve’ thing and Russia with the ‘da’ and even China with ’aru’.” You see this gun?” Germany lifted the purple weapon. “This is not a regular gun. You invented this, Marlena. You can use this gun to make pathways to different dimensions. It isn’t natural. When you use this gun, you’re making the hole between the dimensions bigger and bigger until it engulfs both of them and turns them to nothingness. But we can fix it, Marlena. Only if you give your life to fix it.”

Marlena watched him with terror, slowly shaking her head. “No… N-No… there has to be another way.”

Germany sadly frowned. “Even if there is, it won’t be in this dimension, Marlena. It’s too late to go looking. I have already endangered us enough looking. I have looked so very hard, but nothing comes up. I have been to so many dimensions. I didn’t know it was so dangerous to travel. I was looking for the dimension you fled to to bring you home when I found one of a doctor. He warned me about the fatality that this travel would bring. I am glad I found the Doctor, because without him, I wouldn’t know.”

Marlena took a step back from her father. “You can’t do this. You can’t kill me, I’m your daughter!”

Germany produced a gun from the back of his uniform. “Marlena. I’m so sorry.”

Marlena had to think fast, and fast she did. Quick as a flash, she knocked the purple gun out of Germany’s hand and caught it in midair. She could remember how to use it now that her father had told her that story. All she really had to do was set it to a number on the dial on the back. Every dimension is labeled under some number, and according to her gun, Homestuck was 413. She looked to Hussie and Hussiebot. Hussiebot struggled in Russia’s grasp but couldn’t get out due to the position and hold the smiling nation had on him. Her father dived to grab her. She hopped backwards and set the dial to 1178, a random number. She shot at the wall, opening a portal, and dove into it.

She turned in the middle of the nothingness between the portals to shoot the entrance again to close it, but paused when she spotted Hussie climbing in. She allowed him to get through and then shot the portal again, closing it. In an instant, they were somewhere new, and appeared to be standing in someone’s bedroom.

Hussie rose to his feet and wiped his eyes. This was too much to take in all at once even for him, let alone for Weeb– Uh, Marlena. He groaned and held himself up against a wall.

Marlena looked the gun over and turned to Hussie. “Come on, we have to find out where we are and which dimension is home.”

Hussie rubbed his head. “What about finding a way to stop the dimensions from crumbling?”

Marlena rubbed her neck. “Yeah, that, too.”

Hussie sighed. “Look, I’m sorry about robot me.” He actually wasn’t sorry at all, but he figured the girl deserved a break. If someone he cared about was kidnapped by Hetalia characters and left for dead in a different dimension, he’d be pretty broken up about it.

Marlena waved a hand airily at him. “Yeah, me too, but he belonged in that dimension. I can’t afford to take three people places they don’t belong. And besides… now that I’m not a weeb, I think it was unfair for me to agree to be matesprits with Andrewbot. I don’t think those feelings I had really had to do with him all that much. I just felt bad for him. I really had feelings for–” she stopped her sentence abruptly, stiffening. She nervously averted her gaze from Hussie, who was giving her an interested look. She desperately hoped he didn’t catch what she nearly said. “Uh, anyway,” she coughed. “I bet I embarrassed myself so much. Ugh, how bad of a weeb was I?”

Hussie smirked. “Could’ve been worse.”

Marlena gave him a hopeful glance and matching smile. “Really?”

Hussie snorted. “No, you were such a weeb.” 

She grinned and giggled embarrassedly.

Hussie chuckled, feeling his heart leap upon hearing her laugh. It was a lot cuter than he remembered. He walked over to her side and put a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s find out where we are.”

Marlena nodded and the two walked to the shut door of the bedroom. Marlena reached out to grab the doorknob, but it began to twist on its own. Her heart nearly stopped and Hussie’s grip on her shoulder tightened.

The door swung open and a blue-haired girl stood in the doorway. She paused and stared at them for a long time. “Who are you?”

“Miku?” Marlena looked at Hussie with confusion. “I guess we’re in the Vocaloid world.” 

Miku furrowed her eyebrows at them. “How did you get in here? Are you another crazy fan?”

“No,” replied Marlena quickly. “It was an accident, sorry.”

Hussie grinned a little. “Oh, so you aren’t a rabid Vocaloid fan? When I first met you, you were wearing a tattered Miku cosplay and claimed that–” he rose his voice to a mockingly high pitch, “–’Hatsune Miku is a genius! Her vocals are perfect and she is so kawaii and sugoi, I wish I could be just like her!’”

Marlena’s face shadowed in horror. She looked to Hussie with a pink face. “I did not say that.”

Hussie nodded slowly, looking almost sympathetic. “You did.”

Marlena covered her face with her hands in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. “Oh my God.”

Miku gave them odd looks and pressed a button on her headset. She proceeded to call for security.

“Sorry!” Marlena removed her hands from her face and slipped out of the bedroom between Miku and the doorway. “It won’t happen again.”

Miku sighed exasperatedly, but seemed to have accepted the apology. She began to walk into her room and shooed Hussie out.

“Next time we won’t pop into someone’s bedroom with that crappy purple gun,” Hussie muttered, just loud enough for the girls to hear.

Miku stopped and looked at them. “Wait, you said purple gun? Can I see?”  
Marlena and Hussie exchanged puzzled glanced, but nodded and Marlena held it out to the Vocaloid.

Miku knew what it was and it was obvious on her face. She looked up at Hussie and Marlena. “You two aren’t from this dimension.”

Marlena furrowed her eyebrows gently. “How did you know that?”

Miku handed her the gun. “A man with this gun came here before searching for a way to bring someone home to his dimension. I’ve heard about this from a friend, but I didn’t believe it until he came and went. I talked to them again and one of them claimed to know how to close holes to portals to stop them from caving in.”

Hussie nudged Marlena out of the way. “They what?”

A security guard grabbed him by the arms, but Miku waved them off and told them it was okay. “Yes, he knows of a way to close the doors to the dimensions without killing anyone.”

At the same moment in time, Hussie and Marlena grinned widely. “Can you show us to him?”  
\--

Of course it was Len. Marlena had a feeling it would be and it only reminded herself of how weeby she’d been before. It reminded her of how bad of a Facebook roleplay account she made of him and it caused her to blush profusely with shame. Of all things, why did she have to be made into a weeb? Her dad could have gone with something less embarrassing. He could have made an Yzma and turned her into a llama instead.

Len smiled at them when they walked into his home. “Hello,” he greeted. “You must be the ones who want to know how to close the portals.”

Marlena nodded. “The sooner the better.” 

“Well,” Len said. “Just like there is a gun to open them, there’s a gun to close them. All you need is one or the other and it can be altered to fix it. When people go between dimensions, they gain a force that can either destroy or repair the entrances between them. And you can transfer that to the gun and reverse whatever the power is.”

Marlena pulled out the gun and handed it to Len. He looked it over and grinned.  
“This’ll do! I used to be obsessed with this stuff. It’s fun to know about.” He looked over the number dial on the gun. “Wherever you use it is where you’ll be trapped, though.”

Marlena tilted her head slightly to the side, not catching the smile her confused action brought on Hussie’s face. “What?”

“It’ll close the portals forever,” Len explained. 

Marlena’s lips drew into a tight line and she thanked Len. “How do I transfer the force into the gun?”

Len pointed to a slot on the gun. Marlena couldn’t remember very well why she put that there or what it did. “You see this?”

Marlena nodded. “Yes?”

“It’s what this is for. You need to cut a part of your body and put it against this slot and it’ll drain the force from your blood and insides and stuff. Use it wherever you want to stay when you close the portal you used to get there. Not in the nothingness between the portals, though!”

Marlena took the gun from him. “Thanks so much! How do you know this stuff?”

Len grinned. “Let’s just say a girl came from far away and told me exactly what it does.”

Marlena gave him a confused stare but thanked him again and left his house. He waved goodbye to them as they exited his doors. 

“Bye, Len!” Marlena shouted.

“Later, Marlena!” He shut his doors and he was gone.

Marlena looked to Hussie. “Did I ever tell him my name?”

Hussie shook his head, but smiled. “Nope.”  
\--  
Hussie knew full well what they had to do next. If they could get back into the Homestuck dimension, he could use his power over his web comic to take them back to his home Earth. The problem was, they would likely end up back where they left with Germany, and worse, Hussiebot.

Hussie did not want to see that tin can ever again. Just looking at him pissed him off. He could not believe that he went and started dating Marlena and then macked on her right in front of his face. He didn’t know why it made him so mad. It just did, and he didn’t like it. If he had to go back just to see her tongue that robot, he would beg Germany to shoot him instead.

He didn’t have a choice, though. They didn’t know what number his Earth was labeled, only Homestuck. Ironically, it was 314, the number he adored to use in his web comic. That was actually pretty cool in his eyes. Hussie explained his abilities to take them home to Marlena and she was saying ready to go back immediately. Hussie didn’t let her, though. He claimed they had to talk.

“Look,” Hussie began as they walked the streets of Tokyo. “If you go back, your dad might try to shoot you.”

“Don’t call him my dad,” hissed Marlena. “I… I don’t know. It just feels wrong. He didn’t try hard enough to find another way and he still wants to kill me. If I only knew one way to save those worlds and it involved murdering someone I care about, let’s say you, I would search and search and I wouldn’t stop! It wasn’t even that hard…”

“I’m touched,” Hussie said sarcastically. He had to force the sarcasm, though, and it was obvious. He had to make it into a joke. The way it warmed his heart was weird.

Marlena smiled. “I’m not going back to the Hetalia world, Andrew. I’m going to stay with you. That is okay, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is!” Hussie replied very quickly. “What kind of question is that?”

Marlena giggled. 

Hussie averted his gaze and turned his head away from her, clearing his throat. If Marlena did that cute little giggle one more time he would… he didn‘t know, but he would do it. “Alright, let’s go.”

Marlena nodded to herself. She could do it. She could face her father and lock the doors to the dimensions. Yes, it would be hard, but at least she wouldn’t be alone. She turned to a side of a building and turned the dial on the gun to 314. She shot at the flat surface and the entrance appeared. She turned to Hussie and swallowed dryly. She was having second thoughts. What if Germany shot her the moment she walked in? Or worse, what if they shot Hussie?

Her breath caught in her throat and her heart was pounding in her ears. Her breath quickened to a pace much to fast and she felt like this was all one big mistake. She could run, but the worlds would end. She could fight her father, but he would kill her. She–

Hussie closed his hand over Marlena’s and her thoughts came to a sudden halt. She looked at him, and he returned the gaze. “You can do it,” he assured her. “I’m here for you.”

Marlena nodded. “I won’t let you down.” Her panicking slowed to a stop.

Without another word, they stepped into the portal and shut it behind them.

Marlena steadied herself on the floor of Hussie’s bedroom. The sound of guns cocking filled the room and her breath hitched in her throat. She heard Hussiebot scream and Germany was on his feet right in front of her, pointing a gun at her forehead. His eyes were cold and hard. “Marlena. It’s time.”

“Marlena tightened her hold on Hussie’s hand. “Daddy.”

Germany faltered. She hadn’t called her Daddy in so long. 

She brought a thumb up to her mouth and nipped it enough to draw blood. She lowered it down to her side. 

“Daddy, can’t I see our world just one more time before I die?”

Germany swallowed dryly. “I… I guess.”

“What’s the number?”

Germany hesitated. “Wait…”

Italy skipped ahead to his side. “It’s 4478,” he chimed. 

Germany turned on him. “ITALY, NO!”

Marlena was too quick for Germany to stop. She turned the dials and shot under Germany and Italy’s feet. They plummeted down into the entrance to the Hetalia world and turned to the other nations, who were nearly to fire. They would have shot her if not for Hussiebot, who took advantage of Russia’s surprise to throw him off of him with his robotic strength. He escaped Russia’s hold and threw the big nation into the others and they fell into a pile. Marlena opened a portal under them and sent them falling home. She then shut the portals and turned to Hussie, giggling.

They hugged tightly and for a long time. Hussie spun her around, not unlike in a Lifetime movie, and Hussiebot seethed in the corner.

Marlena grinned. “Now all we need is to go back and get to America to send him back.”

Hussie grinned. “I can take us there.” He closed his eyes for a moment and suddenly a door appeared on the wall. He walked ahead and opened it, and it led to the Furthest Ring. He, Marlena, and Hussiebot walked out and into the desert. America was walking by the door when they came out and couldn’t even react before there was a hole under him and he was falling to his home dimension.

Hussiebot moved to Marlena’s side. “You did it!”

Marlena glanced at Hussie, who was glaring at the robot. She turned to the robot and sighed. “Listen, Andrewbot… I don’t think it’s going to work out between us.”

Andrewbot froze. “What?”

Marlena flinched at the clear pain in his voice. “I’m sorry. I don’t love you. I was confused.”

Andrewbot was silent, but then burst into sobs and fled the scene. Marlena guiltily stared at the floor. 

Hussie snapped his fingers and the robot in the distance stopped running and  
crying instantly and, instead, began to search the sands for footprints.

Marlena looked at him with puzzlement and looked to Hussie. “What did you do?”

Hussie watched the robot excitedly run off in the opposite direction of the two. “I took away his feelings for you and made him love Vriska instead.” He looked at Marlena, who seemed just a little bit sour over that. “Marlena, I was really mad when I found out you were dating robot me for a reason.” He made eye contact with her and could see the realization in her eyes, but she remained silent. 

Marlena just hoped he couldn’t hear her heart pounding.

“I was so distracted by Vriska, I didn’t see that the one that’s really for me is right in front of me.”

Marlena covered the lower half of her face with her hands, as if she was attempting to hide but wanted to see him at the same time.

“Literally. Right in front of me. Right now.” He was silent for a moment longer before dropping to a knee and holding up a ring. “Will you marry me?”

Marlena’s eyes widened, and she took a moment to find her words before breaking into a violent fit of laughter and doubling over, holding her stomach. 

Hussie tilted his head at her.

“No, I won’t marry you,” She choked out between giggles.

Hussie’s face fell and his eyes began to water.

Marlena caught herself quickly. She forgot how sensitive he was. “But I will go out with you.”

Hussie stopped right before he was about to start crying and grinned excitedly. He hopped up to his feet and they hugged for a long time.

Marlena took Hussie’s hand with her own free one and watched the endless golden sands of the Furthest Ring with a soft smile. “Let’s go home.”  
\---

MS Paint smiled and peered into Hussie’s room, watching him and Marlena hold hands and talk. When the girl was in the bathroom, Hussie had rushed all his Vriska stuff and threw it in the trash. She was proud of him. It was about time he’d gotten a girlfriend. That weird obsession with a fiction character was never good for him and he knew it all along. Then again, Vriska wasn’t truly fictional, was she? The woman’s smile softened and she turned and went into her own bedroom. The torn up cosplay Marlena showed up in when she was Weebcomments was clean and rested on her bed. She picked it up carefully, and frowned when she noticed that there was still gravel and pebbles caught in it. This cosplay was ruined forever, she realized. However, something told her not to throw it away. She, instead, folded it up and went into Marlena’s room to put it into her closet. She spotted a rose on her dresser and her smile grew. Hussie gave that to her, didn’t he? Even though he could be a pain in the butt, he was a real sweetheart. She put the cosplay down next to the rose on the dresser and left the room. MS Paint decided some tea would do herself some good and strolled down the stairs. 

Marlena smiled. “Is she gone?”

Hussie waited until he could hear the sound of her descending footsteps fall into silence and nodded. “All clear.”

Marlena giggled and leaned against him, rested her head in the crook of his neck. “You know, I’m actually glad that my dad turned me into a weeb and tried to murder me.”

Hussie raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yep.” Marlena smiled. “Because of all of that, I met you.”

Hussie smirked. “I hate to admit it, but I’m glad you dated that tin can. If you didn’t, I probably wouldn’t have realized how much you mean to me.”

Marlena smiled. “Heh, yep.”

“…You didn’t have to kiss him though.”

“Is someone jealous?” Marlena questioned in a sing-song tone. 

Hussie stared at the wall. “No.”

“You are,” Marlena said, chuckling. 

“Maybe a little,” Hussie confessed.

Marlena sat up. “Well, I guess I can make it up to you.”

Hussie looked to her eagerly. 

Marlena nearly laughed at him again because of his excitement, but she knew better. She really didn’t feel like making him cry again. She stifled her laughter and leaned in, giving him one short, sweet kiss.

Hussie’s face was redder than hers was by the time she pulled away.

Marlena grinned. “You’re adorable.”

“…Shut up.”


End file.
